The Violent Id

The pop and hiss of a soda being opened echoed in the quiet room. A figure in white lay lazily on the sofa, gazing out the floor-to-ceiling windows at the gale-force winds whipping the rain. Everything within her sight was a vast, blurred expanse of mist, though because of the high floor, she could still make out the neon lights of the buildings below.

Compared to the country manor with its last-century aesthetic, she actually preferred the style of Clo’s home—a high-rise duplex overlooking the river and the sea. She leaned back against the sofa, her small feet kicked up, feeling a unique sense of ease. A hint of exhaustion lingered in her eyes. The sky flashed a pale white several times before quickly returning to its original state. She watched it all in silence.

The bathroom door opened, and Clo, wrapped in a bathrobe with her hair bundled up, stepped out. A faint heat radiated from her. Usually, she wasn't so formal; sometimes, when she was too thirsty from a long soak, she would impatiently grab a soda from the fridge and take a few gulps before her hair was even dry, completely indifferent to the various downsides of drinking soda before bed.

“I thought you were the type who didn't drink soda.” Clo opened a can for herself. She glanced at the girl sitting across from her, who looked exhausted yet seemed haunted by a persistent sense of unease that made rest difficult.

“You have quite a few stereotypes about me.” Li Yue frowned slightly as she casually smoothed her messy hair. Without makeup, she looked frighteningly haggard, like someone who frequently stayed up late and suffered from insomnia, struggling to control her emotions. “I’m not exactly from the century before last, you know.”

“Like worrying it might affect your vocal cords, or monitoring your sugar intake, things like that,” Clo mused, feeling a sudden, inexplicable wave of tension and awkwardness.

“Those are things my father worries about, and he’s not in the country right now.” Li Yue sighed softly. Something seemed to cross her mind, and her expression softened slightly. “Thank you for letting me stay here.”

“‘Letting you stay’ is a bit of an exaggeration. I’m just inviting a friend over on a rainy day. To be honest, this kind of weather scares me too.” Clo took a gulp of her soda.

“The rain isn't actually scary. If anything, I find it comforting. I might actually get some good sleep tonight.” Li Yue spoke casually, a bitter smile touching her lips. “What’s scary is living alone in such a massive house at night. There are hired servants during the day, but once it gets close to nightfall, the only presence I can feel is my own.”

“Anyway, let’s not talk about that. If we keep going, this conversation is going to get all sentimental and mushy.” Li Yue tossed the empty can into the trash and waved a fresh one in front of Clo.

Clo blinked, nodding as she realized what was happening. With a sharp, satisfying click, Li Yue opened another soda and took a long swig. A faint flush appeared on her face, making her look almost tipsy. Clo quickly checked to make sure she hadn't accidentally grabbed a cocktail instead.

Perhaps the pressure was just too much, Clo thought. She wasn't sure what to talk about. Maybe when she was with someone she cared about, she could only find mundane topics to gradually delve into their life. While it was a good way to communicate, her clumsy social skills often turned the process into awkward small talk.

At least, that was how she saw it.

“My father’s desire for control is unusually strong, but he’s actually quite at ease with you,” Li Yue said offhandedly.

“He knows you’re with me?” Clo was startled, the words slipping out instinctively. The image of that man who always seemed to exist in the shadows surfaced in her mind—the sharp contrast of his striped suit, the pitch-black tie adorned with black pearl-colored gems. The first time she had met him, Clo had felt an invisible, crushing pressure.

“Your parents are important business partners of his. In his first impression, you’re probably a girl much like me.” Li Yue shrugged dismissively. “Maybe that’s it.”

“He overestimates me...” Clo’s mouth twitched. Recalling her life over the past dozen years, it felt as though she had never made any plans for her future. She would likely just end up inheriting and managing the estate her parents left behind—which, ironically, seemed to be exactly what her parents wanted. They had already prepared a whole speech to convince her to give up her dreams and dutifully take over the family business.

Only later did they realize that Clo seemed more and more content with lying flat. Fortunately, her grades were excellent; she just didn't have much expectation for her future.

“Is that so? Well, I think you’re a very good person.” Li Yue smiled kindly at Clo. That benevolent yet weary expression momentarily captivated Clo.

“I’m violent and hypocritical, and I’m always putting on a front of being enthusiastic. I’m not a good person at all.”

“I’ve just been exquisitely packaged, that’s all. I hate everything I have.” Li Yue’s expression slowly darkened. “Every time I think I finally possess something, it’s taken away from me completely.”

“The people I cherish, the objects I like, the pets I thought I could trust and be close to...” Li Yue’s expression turned briefly feral before quickly returning to calm. Her clenched fists slowly relaxed.

Clo’s hand trembled slightly. In her mind, she was constantly sketching the true version of Li Yue—the perfect, sunny, gentle girl was bit by bit transforming into someone obsessive, perhaps even pathological.

Everyone has a void inside them, Clo told herself silently. The memory of that scene from the other day—the one that had filled her with such revulsion—resurfaced. She suppressed the urge to gag and took another gulp of soda, trying her best to hide her reaction from Li Yue.

“I have this feeling... of not knowing what I’m living for...” Li Yue let out a long sigh. She felt a surge of regret; she hadn't been able to stop herself from sharing her inner thoughts with this girl again. The realization brought back a wave of irritability.

“Speaking of which...” Li Yue’s tone shifted, and her expression settled into a cold stillness. The light in her eyes faded, as if she had fully remembered something that filled her with rage.

“Regarding what happened that day... you know everything, don't you?” Li Yue’s voice was calm, as if she were mentioning a trivial, insignificant matter.

Clo’s fingers twitched. Her throat constricted with a sudden surge of tension. She looked at the girl across from her, her mouth feeling dry once again.

...