Flutter

“I was just... passing by... haha.” Clo laughed it off, shifting her gaze away from Li Yue to keep her composure.

“You’re acting like I’m interrogating you.” Li Yue held out her soda can, clinking it against Clo’s. “There’s actually nothing to hide.”

Clatter. A gleaming silver scalpel was tossed onto the table. Through the small surgical kit, Clo could see matching metal needles, scissors, and other metal implements she didn't recognize, all kept in the small medical bag that Li Yue always carried in her schoolbag.

Li Yue looked thoughtful. “I didn't have any drugs for euthanasia, so I had to use this to end its life.”

Clo’s lip twitched. She didn't feel anything particularly special about the act; she seemed far more indifferent than she had imagined.

.........

“The next day, I picked up some stones to make a simple memorial for it. It was an animal I had cared for, after all.” Li Yue pulled a smooth, rounded pebble from her small bag. “That little mound of dirt had been dug up. I noticed it the very next day. Thinking back on it, the only person who knew about it was you, since I ran into you that day.”

“Yeah.” Clo recalled the scene. The cat's corpse had been covered in disgusting abscesses and roundworms. The sight of them wriggling had made her stomach turn with waves of nausea.

“My father hates small animals. He always says they... can't be trusted,” Li Yue said flatly, taking a sip of her soda. Perhaps she had drunk too much, but she actually tasted the faint, characteristic bitterness of lemon. “Now, I’m starting to feel that way too.”

“Was it self-defense, empathy, or killing for pleasure?” Clo asked after a moment of thought. She wrapped her bathrobe tighter. The sky outside was growing darker, making her feel a chill. She wasn't sure if the cold came from the late autumn air or if the central air conditioning was set too low.

“It was going to die anyway. I only hadn't seen it for a short while, but it seemed to have gone mad. When it saw me approaching, it lunged at me with everything it had...” A shadow crossed Li Yue’s eyes. She revealed an arm wrapped in bandages. “I checked the animals nearby; most of their wounds were similar—bite marks from fighting and things like that.”

“After I went home, I went to one of my father’s hospitals for treatment. That night, he seemed to have plenty of time for once and even made a video call to check on me.” Li Yue’s expression darkened. “Everything he said seemed intended to demonstrate the meaning of ‘untrustworthy’ to me.”

Li Yue shuddered. At the thought of that man’s hypocritical, slightly gleeful smile, a wave of revulsion surged within her. She recalled the scene: her mind had gone blank, followed by a sharp, intense pain. She had used all her strength to throw the biting creature off her, then, without a second thought, she had pulled the scalpel from her simple surgical kit.

There was only a slight resistance before the sharp blade sank into the frantic creature's body. As it struggled violently, the blade sank deeper and deeper until the struggling ceased, and foul blood began to pour from its mangled body.

Li Yue frowned, trying her best to suppress the memory. But at this moment, the sensation still lingered in her heart. Was the feeling that made her tremble... truly fear?

She didn't want to think about it. She even felt a bit uncertain about how to face Clo.

“So the animal just went wild and attacked?” Clo let out a sigh of relief. Headlines she had seen over the past few days flashed through her mind. It seemed strange, but perhaps it was just a coincidence. “You scared me. I thought you were one of those cat abusers.”

Clo smiled at Li Yue, her grip on the throw pillow loosening. She adjusted her posture; the heavy conversation had made her afraid to move, leaving her back and neck a little uncomfortable.

“What? You still seem a bit nervous?” Li Yue gave a slight smile. “Do I look that scary?”

“Not really. I just thought of those people who torture animals. They’re all... pretty terrifying.” Clo gave a faint smile. She knew her tension didn't actually stem from that.

“Laying a hand on a weak, small creature... it is, indeed.” Li Yue smiled and leaned back against the sofa. Perhaps because she was finally able to share her terrible experience, she looked much more relaxed. Her gaze drifted casually around Clo’s home, lingering for a moment on the photos and art books on the wall before she let out a yawn.

She was starting to feel drowsy.

“Want to watch some TV? I know an interesting late-night channel.” Clo turned on the TV. The recommendations on the home screen were all reports about the typhoon over the past few days. She gave a bitter smile, realizing it wouldn't be easy to go out for a while.

Fortunately, she had stocked the fridge with plenty of ingredients. With her cooking skills... making a few small dishes to go with instant noodles should turn out alright.

“I’m a bit tired.” Li Yue yawned. She felt as though she might finally get a good night's sleep tonight.

“The guest room bedding should be in the closet. I forgot to air it out recently, so it might be a bit uncomfortable to sleep on.” Clo blinked, suddenly remembering her mother’s instructions to air out the blankets before the typhoon.

“Maybe you could sleep in my parents' room? I can go make the bed.” Clo thought for a moment. Seeing Li Yue staring straight at her, she felt a strange flutter in her heart, just like the feeling of longing she’d had a few hours ago when she invited Li Yue home.

“If you don't mind... you could sleep in my room,” Clo murmured. Then, she saw a faint smile play on Li Yue’s lips.

“That’s a bit intimate. I might not be able to sleep then. When two people are so close in the dark, they can't help but share their secrets.” Li Yue smiled softly. “I’ve lost many things. If you don't mind my negativity, then I suppose I could.”

Clo froze as she watched Li Yue yawn again and head toward her bedroom. Li Yue crooked a finger behind her back, turning her head to give a faint smile and a sidelong glance that made Clo’s heart tremble slightly.

Clo feigned composure, pretending to flip through the TV channels. She tossed the empty cans from the coffee table into the trash, biting her nails as her hand, hidden against her chest, trembled slightly.