The air in the hospital ward carried the sharp tang of disinfectant. Outside the window, rain had begun to fall at some point, the droplets tapping against the glass in a fine, dense rhythm.
Luo Yang did not answer.
Qiu Shubai's words were like a needle, precisely piercing the heart he kept wrapped in a sturdy shell.
"Don't always force yourself for the sake of others..."
Her voice grew increasingly tremulous.
He kept his eyes lowered, his gaze falling on the altered space ring. His fingertips were still somewhat numb. He wanted to try and argue, but he found that the ready-made excuses in his mind turned remarkably hollow as he thought about them.
Because what she said was the truth.
He indeed always did this.
When had it started? Perhaps it was the first day he transmigrated into this world, or perhaps even earlier. Something that didn't originally belong to him weighed on his back—not a burden placed there by anyone else, but one he had reached out to take himself. It was as if he was born to stand in the eye of the storm, using his own body to shield against every danger he could see.
As a transmigrator, an outsider, his talent and strength had time and again reinforced that absurd notion: You are special, so you should bear more.
But the word "should" was never spoken by others; it was a sentence he had passed upon himself.
The sound of rain outside grew louder.
Qiu Shubai stood beside him, her hands hanging at her sides, waiting for his response. She waited for a long time, until Luo Yang finally exhaled the turbid breath he had been holding for far too long.
"I know."
Luo Yang finally spoke, only to find his voice even raspier than he had expected.
"I'm well aware of that. There are many things in this world I can do, and many existences that are currently beyond my reach."
He looked up, meeting Qiu Shubai's gaze. In those eyes, there was anger, worry, and a nearly fragile light that he couldn't quite decipher.
"But given your situation back then, how could I just stand by and watch?"
He paused, wanting to make his words sound more composed, as if he were being reasonable rather than trying to be a hero.
The sentence was very quiet, almost drowned out by the rain against the window. But Qiu Shubai heard it.
Of course she heard it.
So she didn't let him finish.
Without any hysterical shouting, she took a step forward, closing the distance between them to nothing. She used her pale, small hands to fiercely grab the collar of his shirt, which was already tattered beyond recognition. Then, in a voice that nearly trembled, she slowly let out the complex emotions in her heart, translated into words that didn't quite fit.
"You're always thinking about these grand principles... but can't you..."
"Consider me more?"
As she spoke the final word, she seemed to lose all her strength. Although her hands were still clutching Luo Yang's collar, he could no longer feel any tension from them.
Luo Yang looked at the face before him, looking into those eyes that were usually calm and collected, eyes that never lost their composure in any battle. Now, they were staring directly at him with an emotion he had never seen before.
"Did you really think I was completely heartless? I have moments of joy, and I have moments of sorrow. Granted, I'm not good at expressing them, but that doesn't mean I'm truly like a piece of lifeless ice. If something really happened to you because of me—"
"I would... be heartbroken too..."
Those last few words were so broken it sounded as if the syllables had been shattered and pieced back together one by one.
Without any warning or buildup, without even letting go of his collar to cover her face, two lines of tears spilled from the corners of her eyes. They flowed down her cheeks, past her jaw, and one drop landed on Luo Yang's bandage, soaking in to create a small, dark stain.
At that moment, it was as if an overload switch had been flipped in Luo Yang's brain.
He had seen many sides of Qiu Shubai—the calm side, the decisive side, the side with a sharp sense of humor—but he had never seen this side.
He panicked.
He truly panicked, a sense of helplessness far greater than any he had felt when facing an enemy. It was as if a dozen plans were running through his head simultaneously, and all of them were collapsing at the same time.
What should he say? What should he do? Should he apologize and promise it wouldn't happen again? But that would be a lie. Should he comfort her and tell her not to cry? That felt too weak, and besides, he had never really learned how to comfort people.
Everything was useless; not a single answer was good enough.
"...Forget it."
After his brain had completely fried itself, Luo Yang stopped thinking.
Following his instincts, he raised his hands and lightly placed them around her waist.
His grip was very light; he didn't consider it a full embrace, but rather a tentative approach. His palms rested against her, feeling the warmth of her body through the fabric, yet he still maintained a subtle distance. Even at the moment he completely stopped thinking, he was still trying to maintain his so-called "gentlemanly composure."
Luo Yang lowered his head, his voice very soft, as if he were explaining things to himself as much as making a promise to her.
"I can be impulsive sometimes, and I can be hesitant, but when those things are laid out before me, I still have to shoulder them. My convictions don't allow me to stand by when a friend is in danger. You know that well."
"But for you, that goes double."
Qiu Shubai didn't push him away.
Her hands clutching his collar were still shaking, but the nature of the grip had shifted from "restraint" to "holding on." She was afraid that if she let go, the man in front of her would once again risk his life for her sake.
Luo Yang could feel her forehead resting against his collarbone.
It was light, and it was warm.
Perhaps only a dozen seconds passed, or perhaps it was a long time, before Qiu Shubai's breathing finally steadied. She released his collar, took half a step back, and quickly wiped her face with the back of her hand while keeping her eyes downcast.
The movement was rough and not at all elegant, a far cry from her usual self.
"...Your shirt was already ruined," she said in a muffled voice, her tone still a bit nasal. "I didn't make it any worse just now."
Luo Yang looked at her.
Then he suddenly laughed. It wasn't a deep or meaningful laugh, but a genuine, pure laugh triggered by her incredibly awkward attempt to save face. The feeling of congestion in his chest dissipated, replaced by a soft, spreading warmth.
"No, of course not."
Qiu Shubai quickly wiped the corners of her eyes again and looked up. Her eyes were still red, but her gaze had regained some of its usual calm.
"You'd better remember what you said today."
It wasn't a threat, but there was a certain unyielding persistence in her tone.
Luo Yang met her eyes and gave a nod.
"I'll remember."
Raindrops struck the glass, sliding slowly down the surface and refracting the dim yellow light from the hallway.
Qiu Shubai turned around and walked to the window, standing with her back to him for a while. The lines of her shoulders were tense, but after a few breaths, they slowly relaxed.
"Next time. Next time something happens."
She paused for two seconds.
"At least... don't leave me behind alone again."
"...I'll try."
"What do you mean, 'try'?"
"It means I can't guarantee that the urge to play the hero won't rear its head."
"You really are something..."
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