He didn't continue.
Lu Yuan didn't interject either, because Hank was telling the truth. If his own consciousness hadn't returned at that moment...
With Hank's level of Sanity, he wouldn't have been able to withstand the subsequent impact.
At best, he would have been transferred back to logistics; at worst, he would have gone completely insane or mutated.
"I came to see you today..."
Hank looked up and gave a small smile, but the expression in his eyes didn't quite match.
"...with a 'give it a shot' attitude."
"After all, improving one's Sanity is simply too difficult."
The room fell silent for a few seconds.
Bolen didn't speak, his fingers resting on the head of his cane as he let out a low sigh.
"Young Hank is right," Bolen said, his tone level.
"Let me add a few words."
He set his wine cup on the edge of the table.
"Sanity is a door that no transcendent pathway can bypass. Whether it's Knowledge, Eerie, or Faith, there isn't a single path that doesn't require paying this toll."
"Most of the time, significant improvements to Sanity can only be achieved through training from childhood."
"But that kind of training..."
The old man shook his head.
"...is extremely resource-intensive. Especially at certain stages, it requires the assistance of live eerie entities."
"Live ones, not dead."
Hank nodded; he had clearly heard of this.
"Once pollution exceeds the limit, the cost is irreversible—either mutation or death. Ordinary people can't even get past the threshold."
"So you see those old established families; every generation is more capable than the last."
Bolen chuckled.
"They have resources far beyond the average person. Take Kail, for example. If I weren't an Inscription transcendent, he might never have even entered the door in his entire life."
Kail didn't say anything, but he was listening intently.
"If you want to improve your Sanity as an adult, there are only a few ways left."
"First, choose a suitable pathway and then tap into your own potential."
"Second, extremely rare permanent potions."
"Third, transcendent weapons."
"Fourth, auxiliary items provided by an Inscriptionist. I know this because it's my trade."
The old man sighed.
"It's almost impossible to improve Sanity while facing pollution and the eerie."
He glanced at Hank.
"The reason is simple: the pollution is just too severe."
For the first time since entering the room, Kail spoke up of his own accord.
"Teacher."
He looked at Bolen, his brow furrowed.
"In that case, for someone like me who hasn't undergone that training... won't the path of transcendence be very difficult?"
Bolen was stunned for a moment, then gave a somewhat helpless smile.
"No."
"Because Knowledge transcendents and eerie transcendents are worlds apart."
The old man didn't elaborate further.
But everyone understood the weight behind those words.
Pathways themselves were not equal.
This was a fundamental rule of this world, and it had never been a secret.
Hank took another sip of wine.
Lu Yuan finally spoke.
He frowned slightly.
"My situation is indeed a bit special."
"My Sanity is relatively high, and the pathway I chose is also quite dangerous."
He paused.
"However, it's likely because I have good talent."
Hank sighed.
It wasn't a heavy sigh, but it was clear he had already guessed as much.
"You're an exception, Captain."
Lu Yuan nodded.
"But."
He looked at Hank.
"I can't guarantee I can directly improve your Sanity. I can tell you about some experiments I tried before. They might be of use to you."
"Might."
Hank stared at him for two seconds, then smiled and raised his wine cup.
"I'll take those odds, Captain. Please, I'm all ears."
Lu Yuan sat up a bit straighter.
Bolen and Kail also quieted down.
Bolen was actually curious as well.
He had known Lu Yuan for a while now, and the longer they spent together, the more he noticed how different this young captain was.
The old man didn't ask, but he listened.
Kail went without saying; for an apprentice who had just entered the field, any word spoken in this room could be gold.
Lu Yuan thought for a moment.
His fingers tapped unconsciously on the tabletop.
Then he spoke.
The first question—and the only question.
"Can you feel the existence of your Sanity?"
Lu Yuan paused for half a beat.
"I mean you personally. Can you feel where it is?"
Hank was stunned.
He didn't answer immediately.
His expression shifted, carrying a hint of confusion and bewilderment. After a few seconds, Hank finally spoke.
"Captain, when you say 'feel'..."
He paused.
"Do you mean... being able to see a place inside your mind?"
Lu Yuan looked at him.
He didn't speak.
Hank continued on his own.
"Let me tell you a story."
"A few years ago, on a Rank 1 mission."
"There was a law firm in the city. The lawyer there was keeping nightmares—eerie creatures that feed on people's Sanity in the dark and create illusions."
"That lawyer used those things to win lawsuits involving the Imperial Code."
"We surrounded that law firm."
Hank took a sip of wine, his eyes not on the cup.
"I was on the perimeter, responsible for maintaining the Sanity barrier."
"As it turned out, one nightmare leaked out."
"That thing..."
He gestured with his hands.
"...collided with me head-on."
"That was also the first time in my life I suffered such severe Sanity trauma."
Hank's fingers instinctively touched his left temple.
"The moment that nightmare bored into my head..."
He stopped, seemingly weighing his next words.
"I saw a place."
"How should I put it? It was empty."
"Almost void-like."
"Like an empty room, except that room was inside my own head."
"At the time, my Sanity was almost depleted, so there was nothing in that place. I only managed to stay conscious through sheer will."
"But there really was nothing there."
Hank repeated it once more.
"But I remember that place."
"Clearly."
"Since then, I've always brought a full supply of potions on missions."
"I've never dared to let my Sanity bottom out again."
He finished his story and scratched his head, looking at Lu Yuan with a bit of helplessness.
"There."
"Maybe that was my Sanity?"
Lu Yuan didn't answer him immediately.
But he had already reached a judgment in his heart.
He followed up on Hank's words.
"You just said you relied on your will to pull through every time."
"Do you think willpower and Sanity are the same thing?"
Hank hadn't thought about that question.
Instead, it was Kail who spoke first.
This child had the least transcendent experience in the room, yet he was the most daring to ask.
"Isn't Sanity something invisible and intangible?"
Kail looked at Lu Yuan, his tone serious.
"Like willpower? The stronger your will, the longer you can hold out?"
Lu Yuan shook his head.
"Sanity is Sanity, and willpower is willpower. These two things are very different."
He stopped, thinking of how to explain it more clearly.
"In the past..."
He paused.
"...I worked as a doctor for a while and came into contact with some patients."
"I discovered something."
"The depth of a hallucination is directly linked to Sanity."
"But if the body has already begun to mutate, even if the person retains their consciousness..."
Lu Yuan glanced at Hank.
"...they can no longer be considered human."
The room fell quiet for a moment.
Lu Yuan continued.
"On all those missions you've been on, every time you relied on your will to hold out..."
"Willpower did indeed let you hold on for a few more minutes, yes. But the fundamental reason was that you still had some Sanity remaining."
"And the thing that truly kept you from going mad, dying, or mutating..."
"...was not willpower."
Hank's lips moved, but no sound came out.
Lu Yuan paused, choosing his words carefully.
"For Nightwatchers, or people like you..."
"Your willpower far exceeds your Sanity."
"So you feel like willpower is effective."
"But the range of that 'effectiveness'..."
"...is actually very small."
Hank sat there, silent.
He replayed his past missions in his mind.
His first solo mission. It was a ghoul. When his Sanity was about to run out, he had made it through by biting his tongue. At the time, he thought it was his will that saved him.
The second time, the third time, and every time after that—whenever he was about to break, he told himself to 'hold on just a bit longer.' And every time, he made it.
He wanted to use these examples to refute Lu Yuan.
But he couldn't.
Because according to the standard Lu Yuan had given—hallucinations, mutation—every assessment matched up.
Those dozens of times he hadn't gone mad or mutated weren't because he was biting his tongue.
And it wasn't just him.
He thought of his brothers who had transferred to logistics. Craig, Miller, Old Bart.
When they were carried back, each was more lucid than the last—some cursing, some crying, some laughing. Not one of them had a collapsed consciousness.
But they could never go back into the field again because their bodies had already changed.
He thought of the wooden sign hanging on the training grounds the year he enlisted.
Half the paint had peeled off.
Four words were carved into it:
Willpower Above All.
No one had questioned that phrase for decades.
Every newcomer had memorized it.
Veterans would mutter it at the dinner table.
The training ground instructors would tap that wooden sign every morning and make them repeat it.
Now.
Across a table with half a bottle of fruit wine, it had been gently—and without any hostility—punctured by this rank 2 young captain.
Silence reigned for several seconds.
Hank looked up.
He gave a smile—a self-deprecating one.
"Captain, those words of yours... they're a bit of a gut punch."
He paused.
"Doesn't that mean..."
"...all these years I've spent training my will have been for nothing?"
Bolen set his wine cup down.
"I wouldn't say for nothing," the old man's voice was low.
"Relying on willpower to maintain consciousness for a while after mutation is possible. Is that will useful? Yes."
"However... it only serves to let you exercise restraint, so you don't make things difficult for your teammates when they have to execute you..."
He paused, his brow furrowing as if he were deducing something he hadn't carefully considered before.
"Furthermore, for an eerie transcendent to improve their Sanity, it's very difficult to acquire deep-level knowledge without extremely professional study."
"But deep-level study is dangerous in itself."
"When it comes to discerning certain types of knowledge..."
The old man glanced at Hank.
"...an eerie transcendent might not even be able to perceive it in advance."
Hank interjected, "But it's not completely impossible. I knew a senior..."
He thought of something and gestured with his hands.
"He relied on a transcendent weapon to hold out for five years. His Sanity was always rock steady."
Bolen shook his head.
"As you said, that was the item bearing the burden for him."
The old man's tone remained unchanged.
Rate on N.U.
