The central plaza of Cuifeng City had been renovated beyond recognition.
A massive religious symbol was painted onto the granite floor in the center of the plaza.
The symbol was an... abstract circle, painted with white paint mixed with gold dust, spanning over fifty meters in diameter.
Around the symbol stood seven temporary high platforms covered in white linen.
Upon them were various strangely shaped metal vessels and crystal containers.
The surrounding plaza was packed with the people of Cuifeng City, forming a dense, dark mass.
Most were dressed in bulky winter clothes, their faces etched with irritability and impatience.
They had been forced to gather here for some bullshit ceremony, and resentment had long been brewing in their hearts.
However, cowed by authority, no one dared to lash out.
The citizens had brought their entire families—the elderly and children alike—all shivering in the biting wind.
Order was maintained by squads of cultists, with members of the Investigation Bureau mixed among them, working hand in glove with the church.
These cultists wore silver-white light armor with strange circular emblems on their chests. Their gazes were cold and sharp, and they held weapons in their hands.
At the northernmost end of the plaza, a temporary altar over ten meters high had been erected.
The altar was entirely white, decorated with exaggerated golden ribbons and shards of colored glass.
At the top of the altar stood a divine statue that had been transported from the Radiant Church.
Under the intense glare of searchlights, the statue reflected a holy radiance.
When the people in the plaza saw the statue, they began to whisper among themselves.
“The statue isn't even human-shaped, da!”
“What kind of god does the Radiant Church even worship?”
“The bible they wrote is a complete mess; I didn't read it at all.”
“The statue looks like an irregular circle, a bit like the flatbread I make.”
“It's probably meant to be the sun or something...”
Before the altar, the Bishop and dozens of priests, nuns, and deacons behind him had already taken their places.
When the people—especially those in the front rows—saw the church leaders on the altar clearly under the bright lights, many couldn't hide their astonishment.
These high-ranking church members looked very different from the locals.
The Bishop's skin was a bloodless, pale gray. He had deep-set eyes, a high bridge on his nose, and curly deep brown hair.
The priest beside him was blond and blue-eyed, with equally pale skin.
There were also several cultists with reddish hair and dark brown skin.
Their facial features and bone structures were significantly different from the common appearance of Cuifeng City residents.
No, to be more precise, their faces were not of any race commonly seen on this continent!
It was like a mishmash of people from different corners of the world.
The combination of these obvious outsider traits with their holy robes and the authority they currently held over the city created an extremely jarring impression.
Many citizens whispered and discussed in low voices, their faces showing a sense of being offended.
However, some people remembered fragments mentioned in old databases left over from the previous era about other races.
“Silence!”
A priest with a booming voice stepped up to a megaphone at the edge of the altar and shouted majestically.
“The divine descent ceremony is about to begin!”
“Everyone, with the most devout hearts, welcome the descent of our Lord!”
The crowd fell silent as the cultists around them cast warning looks and pointed their weapons at them.
The ceremony began.
First, a heavy bible with a gem-encrusted cover was brought forward.
The Bishop opened the bible and read in a devout, solemn voice.
“The God cannot be interpreted through rigid lenses. He manifests in a grotesque form precisely to mock humanity's narrow imagination of the divine.”
“The God reveals Himself to the world in the form of a pie, for the pie symbolizes inclusion. Whether sweet or savory, meat or vegetable, all can be tenderly wrapped within the crust.”
“The creation myth: The Big Bake and the Grace of the Leaking Filling.”
“In the beginning, there was only the Flying Pie, sleeping drunkenly in the infinite kitchen, surrounded by primordial flour and the void.”
“When the God woke, He felt hungry, and so He decided to bake the world.”
“He kneaded the void, creating the Spacetime Dough.”
“With a push of the Holy Rolling Pin, the universe began to expand. The galaxies scattered within are the sprinkled sesame and poppy seeds.”
“When preparing the filling, the Flying Pie deliberately mixed contradictions.”
“Sweet and savory are order and chaos; crispy and soft are matter and energy; meat and vegetable are life and death.”
“When He wrapped the filling into the dough, because He was drunk, several spots were not sealed tightly. During the baking, the filling leaked from these holes.”
“The gravy became volcanoes, the jam became rivers, and the fat became mineral veins.”
“‘Behold,’ the Flying Pie said, ‘the leaking filling is not a failure, but a way for the interior to be seen.’”
The Bishop's voice was impassioned.
The people in the crowd lowered their heads, desperately suppressing their laughter.
What the hell was this?
Even though they had seen this nonsensical bible many times, they still found the church's tenets hilarious.
Behind the clouds, a pair of eyes watched this farce coldly.
At the ceremony site, several high-ranking transcendents from the local Investigation Bureau vaguely sensed that something was wrong.
The Radiant Church usually conducted itself very seriously; how could they possibly worship such a ridiculous god?
The Bishop continued his dedicated speech.
He opened his arms as if to embrace the entire world, his voice spreading to every corner through the megaphones:
“Lost lambs, look at the phones clutched in your hands! Look at your eyes, shielded by the steel jungle!”
“Do you remember where the most primal warmth and satiety of life came from?”
“It is not from cold numbers, nor from a phantom network! It is flour, it is fresh water, it is the patient waiting of yeast through time, and the passionate song of the filling over the fire!”
“We do not worship ethereal idols, but the power of the pie that bakes all things!”
“To let the hungry be filled, the cold be warmed, and the empty be satisfied—this is the true essence of my Lord's existence!”
The Bishop's words were incredibly humorous, but combined with his holy, solemn expression and gestures, they created a ridiculous effect, like watching a stand-up comedy routine.
Some people really couldn't stop themselves from laughing, but seeing the devout expressions of the cultists around them, they forced it back down.
Fine, I won't argue with an idiot.
Then came the chorus.
A choir composed of the most devout cultists, dressed in uniform white robes, lined up on one side of the altar.
With solemn expressions, they sang in unison:
“Oh~ holy dough, soft yet resilient~”
“Oh~ abundant filling, delicious and juicy~”
“The oven is Your crucible, granting us golden glory~”
“Chewing is Your ritual, bringing us eternal satisfaction~”
“Hallelujah, praise the pie!”
“Hallelujah, praise the fullness!”
The singing was loud, piercing the clouds and echoing in the cold air.
To be fair, if this were a comedy sketch, the effect would be quite good.
The extreme devotion of the singers only added to the humor.
Many citizens were already suppressing laughter to the point of facial distortion, their faces written with philosophical confusion: “Who am I? Where am I? What am I listening to?”
Some people's shoulders twitched slightly as they tried their best to hold back laughter, while others had vacant stares, as if they had given up on thinking entirely.
Just as this atmosphere of solemn humor reached its peak.
The ceremony entered its most critical stage.
“Offer the sacrifices and open the gate of divine descent!”
The Bishop raised his arms high, his voice filled with extreme excitement.
In the center of the plaza, around that massive religious symbol, several hidden exits in the ground suddenly opened.
A group of chefs emerged from underground, pushing dining carts.
On the carts were all sorts of large pies.
However, the shapes of the pies were somewhat abstract and bizarre.
They were in the shape of human faces.
Literally, pie-faces.
Or rather, big-face pies.
The pies were delivered to specific positions on the religious symbol, forming a circle.
Immediately after, the base beneath the altar emitted a low hum.
The vessels on the seven high platforms simultaneously lit up with blinding white light.
“By the inclusion of the flour.”
“By the purity of the fresh water.”
“By the heat of the fire.”
“By the deliciousness of the filling.”
“We call upon You!”
“The supreme God! The one and only Lord!”
The Bishop shouted at the top of his lungs, each word accompanied by a stronger hum from the base beneath his feet.
All the cultists knelt at once, their foreheads touching the ground, as they shouted fanatically.
“Descend!”
“Descend!”
“Descend!”
The people in the plaza were frightened by this cult-like display, and the humorous atmosphere vanished instantly.
Then.
Vwooom!!!
An indescribable white light suddenly erupted from the circle formed by the sacrifices in the center of the plaza.
In that moment, everyone felt their minds go blank, leaving only that hum that grew louder and closer in their ears.
Blinding white light shot up into the sky from the center of the sacrifices.
The light was so intense it was like another sun, illuminating the entire Cuifeng City Central Plaza and even half the city as brightly as a midsummer noon.
Within the light, a male figure dressed in robes slowly emerged.
Immediately after, two more figures appeared behind Him.
It seemed like a manifestation of all living things, ever-changing and without a fixed form.
The Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit—the Trinity—together formed the true body of this God.
However, when He officially descended into the real world, a expression of pain and anger suddenly appeared on His face.
The God's image began to distort.
The humanoid form of the Trinity expanded rapidly.
A colossal object quickly took shape... was baked into shape?
It was a massive, gargantuan...
Pie?
To be precise, it was an ultra-giant pie with a diameter of a hundred meters, floating in mid-air and emitting a pure, holy white light!
Its crust was a perfect, tempting golden yellow, with a surface of evenly baked flaky pastry.
The entire pie was emitting a thick fragrance.
On the side of the pie facing downward, the people in the plaza could see it clearly.
They saw various fillings—meat fillings of unknown origin, as well as onions, tomatoes, cheese, mushrooms, green peppers, and so on.
These ingredients were not piled up randomly but were stacked and embedded in an incredibly artistic way.
They outlined a massive human face pattern!
This divine face made of food, illuminated by the holy white light emitted by the pie itself, was quite absurd.
And very cult-like.
The Flying Pie God had officially descended.
There was a brief, deathly silence.
Then.
“Aaaahhh!”
On the altar, the Bishop was the first to let out a heart-wrenching scream.
This wasn't right!
How could the Lord worshipped by the Radiant Church be a hunk of pie!
But that thought only flashed through his mind for a second.
The next second, the expression on his face turned into wild joy and ultimate adoration.
Tears streaming down his face, the Bishop scrambled on all fours, bowing frantically toward the massive pie in the sky.
“The True God! It is the True God!”
“My Lord has descended, hahahaha!!”
The other cultists also instantly fell into a frenzy.
They wailed, laughed, embraced one another, and danced wildly, prostrating themselves before the incredible existence in the sky.
The faith of their entire lives had been confirmed in the most beyond-imagination way at this moment.
The entire altar was submerged in a sea of frantic joy.
Meanwhile, in the plaza, the tens of thousands of Cuifeng City residents only felt it was absurd.
To worship a pie as a god—they must be seriously ill!
But when the holy white light from the Flying Pie God poured down, shining upon every single person.
A change occurred.
All their original negative emotions vanished.
They became happy and joyful, wanting to laugh from the bottom of their hearts.
Their eyes were filled with joy, their pupils slightly dilated, reflecting the glowing Flying Pie in the sky.
Their mouths split into wide smiles.
“Praise the Lard.”
“Thank You for the bounty.”
“Fullness is bliss.”
“The Lard doesn't care!”
Unconscious whispers began to rise from the crowd.
At first, it was just a few voices, but they quickly merged into a single mass.
Eventually, it turned into a thunderous, rhythmic, and fanatical chant.
The content was almost as ridiculous as the absurd lyrics the choir had just sung.
All the citizens seemed unable to feel the cold; the entire Cuifeng City Central Plaza had turned into a magical, fanatical religious site.
Countless believers, with happy smiles on their faces, surrounded the Flying Pie and sang the pie's praises in unison.
On the altar, the Bishop, in his ultimate ecstasy, looked toward the Lard in the sky through tear-blurred eyes.
“Look, the lost lambs have returned to the flock!”
“Let the feast begin immediately!”
Hearing the Bishop's words, the believers walked toward the center of the plaza to share the sacrifices.
Yue Shi stood behind the clouds high in the sky, silently watching the large pie below.
Behind him floated a gray-white humanoid light shadow, emitting a cold and venomous aura.
Yue Shi asked:
“Meng Xuan, what did you do?”
“How did the god the Radiant Church worships get magically modified into this ghost-like state?”
The humanoid light shadow called Meng Xuan let out a low laugh.
“How can you be so sure I did it?”
Yue Shi thought for a moment. “The divine descent ceremony the church originally prepared was proceeding normally.”
“From the moment you returned, everything became strange.”
“If you didn't tamper with it, could it be those old fogies at the headquarters?”
Meng Xuan clicked his tongue. “How could those old farts come up with such a creative idea?”
“Look at their expressions. When the Flying Pie God appeared, their eyes looked like they were about to pop out of their heads~”
A curve appeared at the corner of Yue Shi's mouth as his gaze swept over the people lying in ambush, finally settling on a woman wearing a hood.
“They're planning to hunt a god?”
“They've got some nerve.”
“But with this bizarre situation now, do they still dare to act?”
Meng Xuan's voice carried a hint of disdain. “Why wouldn't they?”
“Even if I hadn't modified it, they would still dare to try. After all, they're all walking the same path, at the same level...”
Before he could finish speaking, someone below made their move.
Rate on N.U.
