The Brat Tamer

The amount of useful information was shockingly sparse, but Lynch had long prepared himself mentally.

Archbishop Trinlais had cautioned him that this book was only a version meant for ordinary people, containing only the most superficial overview.

When Lynch had expressed a desire to see a more detailed version, the archbishop had patted him on the shoulder with a rather bizarre expression.

“Words are an excellent medium for mysterious filth. Any text dealing with gods and mystery, once delving even slightly deeper, forms a connection with mystery itself and becomes a mystery document. That's where the two mystery documents Vane gave you came from. Among them, mystery documents related to deities possess the highest level of mystery; their danger level and containment procedures are equivalent to rank four, or what you call destruction grade mystery relics, with some even reaching rank five manifestation grade directly. Are you sure you want me to bring them out to show you?”

Lynch had turned and walked away on the spot—he had not lived long enough yet. Even so, before he left, the archbishop had still recommended several harmless classics to him.

All of them recorded theological knowledge that had not breached taboo thresholds, presented in a manner suitable “for human eyes.”

The resurrected major gods numbered twelve in total:

Sol, the Lord of the Sun.

Nyx, the Lord of the Black Night.

Fiona, the Lord of Suffering and Pain.

Tina, the Lord of Wealth.

Gaia, the Lord of the Earth.

Shilin, the Lord of the Oceans.

Tyr, the Lord of War.

Simon, the Lord of the Sky.

Franda, the Lord of Plants.

Mica, the Lord of Joy.

Phil, the Lord of Fire and Crafts.

Selo, the Lord of Dust and Wind.

However, seeing so many names and the nations that worshiped them gave Lynch a massive headache. He forgot them almost as fast as he read them. In the end, he barely managed to memorize the four major gods officially worshiped by the Kingdom of Lande: Sun God Sol, Night Goddess Nyx, Goddess of Suffering Fiona, and Goddess of Wealth Tina. As for the other eight, they had chapels at most within Lande's borders, lacking the authorization to establish full churches and garrison large numbers of clergy.

A knock at the door interrupted his reading. Checking the time, it was already past three in the afternoon. Lynch tossed aside the obscure introductory theology text as if granted an amnesty and hurried over to open the door.

The blonde-haired, blue-eyed Mrs. Maggie stood outside. She had already changed out of her soaked clothes and now wore a modest dress and a veiled hat while carrying a shopping basket, apparently preparing to go out for groceries. Her cheeks were still slightly flushed. Lowering her head, she murmured softly, “Mr. Levive, I'm heading out to buy groceries. If Martha comes home from school in a bit, please let her know for me.”

“Do you need me to come with you?”

“No, that won't be necessary.” Mrs. Maggie's head sank even lower. “Thank you for earlier.”

With that, she lifted her skirt in a slight curtsy, turned on her heel, and ran off. The rapid patter of her footsteps vanished down the stairs in the blink of an eye.

This era was truly wonderful, and this apartment was wonderful as well.

Watching Mrs. Maggie's disappearing figure with a smile, Lynch finally returned to the living room sofa. His mind was still cluttered with images of shining blonde hair and clinging, wet clothes—it was simply too distracting. Knowing he could not focus on theology books anymore, Lynch simply picked up another popular science book.

It was an astronomy text introducing the red moon, which inevitably mentioned Lady Luna, the Lady of the Red Moon from the First Age. Basic information on many fallen gods of the First Age was often tucked away in such popular science books.

Among the fallen gods, Lady Luna and her younger sister, the Silver Maiden, Artemis, were both daughters of Lady Nyx, the Dark Lady. However, this was merely a mythological lineage—terms like mother and daughter were simply used in ways humans could comprehend, and did not necessarily reflect reality.

Because the First Age was so distant, the myths of most fallen gods had not survived at all. On top of that, Divine Authority itself was sensitive content steeped in high mystery; if written out truthfully, it was likely neither author nor reader would survive. Consequently, the book glossed over Lady Luna's Divine Authority, stating only that she held singular domain over the authority of the red moon while sharing domain over eight other Divine Authorities alongside other gods.

No specific records of those authorities remained. In truth, that was what Lynch wanted to know the most.

Not only would it tell him what to search for in the future, but it would also give him a clear objective along the long path of immortality.

‘Lady Luna, can't you just tell me directly? There's no need for me to research such specific details on my own, is there?’

【I cannot impart information that mortals are incapable of understanding. I am sorry, Lynch.】

‘Hm? So I can only guess on my own?’ Lynch sighed, unable to keep a trace of annoyance from rising in his heart.

In the next instant, however, a voice resonated directly within his consciousness.

The moment he perceived the sound, his mind went completely blank, plunging into an absolute stupor. By the time he regained consciousness, more than ten minutes had passed. He felt throbbing spikes of pain across his brain, his thoughts still hazy and disoriented. As for what he had just heard, he could not comprehend it in the slightest.

【That is why. I have no need to deceive you, Lynch. Our method of communication cannot be described using human comprehension like the words you read. Written words can circumvent describing the core essence of a subject, but communicating through our current method expresses that essence directly. Thus, with certain questions, it is not that I refuse to answer, but that you cannot comprehend it, and doing so will harm you. Just like when you awoke and asked what I was, I could not answer you. To do so would be to lay bare my essence before you, and even with your exceptional willpower, you could not endure it and would fall into utter madness.】

It seemed human beings truly had their limits.

Lynch shook his dizzy head, realizing that everything she said was the truth. Still, my dear lady, you really didn't need to demonstrate it firsthand. My head hurts.

【You are suspicious by nature; you would not have believed me otherwise. As such, many things can only rely on your own comprehension. However, our authorities are closely tied to our inherent traits and symbolic meanings. You may deduce them using your usual habits. If you make a severe error, I will warn you.】

Hm?

Lynch reopened the astronomy book and attempted to deduce them from the red moon's traits.

The red moon was known for its perennial, dense red fog, so it commanded a portion of authority over Concealment, and perhaps portions over things like haze and illusion.

She was a moon, so authorities related to the moon or moonlight were undoubtedly included.

Since she appeared at night, authorities concerning sleep or dreams ought to be involved as well, and perhaps even death was encompassed within them.

Add to that the legends stating the red moon was the gateway connecting the Dreamlands and the mortal world, so authorities over paths or gateways, as well as the authority over the mystery of the Dreamlands itself, should also be related to her.

Leaning against the sofa as he turned the pages one by one, Lynch's movements grew slower and slower, yawns escaping him one after another.

The books written by these authors were simply too boring and painfully obscure. No wonder nobody read them.

That was Lynch's last thought before his consciousness dissolved into the warm afternoon sunlight.

He slept soundly until a scraping, clicking sound jolted him awake. The moment he opened his eyes, he saw a mop of blonde hair seated on the other sofa.

Mrs. Maggie was back already?

Looking closer, though, it was not Mrs. Maggie, but little Martha. The little thing was sitting right beside him, and the clicking sound from earlier was her fiddling with his newly purchased lighter.

When he had hung up his clothes earlier, he had left his miscellaneous items on the coffee table without putting them away. This brat certainly wasn't shy around strangers, picking up the lighter to play with it just like that.

Damn it, my revolver is still sitting on there.

Startled, all traces of drowsiness vanished as Lynch sat bolt upright.

The revolver remained on the table, clearly untouched. Yet Lynch's eyes widened, his heart tightening violently.

He was filled with immense regret over his own carelessness.

This little rascal, having zero concept of boundaries, was holding a ring and sliding it onto her finger.

The Passion of the Blazing Lady. Once worn, only the owner could remove it. In other words, if someone could not endure the agony and passed out, their only fate would be getting burned alive.

“Stop!”

Lynch's eyes nearly split from rage and terror. No matter how unlikable this child was, she was still a living life. Her misdeeds did not warrant death, and she certainly shouldn't die because of his belongings. Shouting at the top of his lungs, he threw his entire body toward the little rascal with everything he had.

Yet he knew in his heart that it would definitely be too late.

The little rascal had already begun the motion. Even if startled by Lynch sitting up, the momentum would still push the ring home. She was about to turn into a humanoid torch in an instant, and then ignite him in the process.

Even so, Lynch still lunged forward. The consequences of his own negligence had to be remedied with everything he had. If he got burned, so be it, as long as he was fast enough.

Faster!

A strange sensation surged through his soul, as if something had burst open.

Immediately after, his body's speed skyrocketed. His sluggish frame shot forward like a bolt of lightning, his hand clamping tightly around the ring at the exact moment it grazed her fingertip.

Whew. Saved in time.

Before he could even let out a sigh of relief, his forward momentum slammed him into her, knocking both the little rascal and the sofa over onto the floor.

“Ah!” Pinned beneath him, the girl finally let out a terrified shriek, kicking and clawing at Lynch frantically. “What are you doing?! Let go of me! Let go of me right now, you brute!”

“A brute?!” The lingering fear made Lynch's hands tremble slightly. If a child had died because of his negligence, he probably would have drowned in guilt for years. Cold sweat was already running down his neck, and now this little rascal was hitting and cursing at him. Though it didn't hurt, fury rushed straight to the crown of his head. A sinister sneer formed on his face as he said viciously, “Fine, I'll show you what a brute does!”

With that, he hauled up the frantically struggling Martha, pinned her over the sofa, raised his palm, and brought it down hard on the little rascal's rear.

“I've put up with you for days! I've wanted to beat you for ages!”

“Exploiting people's kindness, are you? Trying to rob me, are you?”

“Smashing me with an earthenware jar! It hurt, you know?! Just as much as this hurts right now!”

“I was carrying ten pounds on me! It didn't matter that you hit me, but if you'd really robbed my money, see if I wouldn't have beaten you to death!”

“Wah! Wah! Help!” The girl was completely stunned at first and couldn't make a sound, but then she began to scream and wail hysterically, thrashing her body and kicking her legs backward in an attempt to break free from Lynch's grip. “Mom, help! Wahhh~~!”

“Mom?! Even Je... Luna can't save you, I say!”

The more Lynch spanked, the angrier he got. However, aside from the first few heavy strikes, his rationality had returned, and he reined in his strength so he wouldn't cause any real harm to the child. Even so, not a single deserved slap was spared.

“Cry! Scream! Despair! Scream till your throat is hoarse, no one is coming to save you! Your mother went out!”

“You actually dared to set a trap to frame me! If not for my quick wits, I wouldn't have been able to wash myself clean even by jumping into the Lande River!”

“You did wrong, and you even tried to force me to help you hide it from your mother!”

“Wah, you agreed to it yourself! I didn't force you!”

“Still talking back?! You brat, you're just begging for a beating! Every time you do something bad from now on, I'll give you a thrashing to see if you learn your lesson!”

“Wah, wah! I'm going to have Mom kick you out!”

“Fine! Then I'll beat out your future share right now so you remember it in one go! Let's see if you dare do bad things again!”

“Wah! You're all the same, you and the police! You disgusting adults keep saying we're wrong, but why don't you tell us what's right?! Wahhh! You only say we're wrong, so how are we supposed to know what we should do?! Wahhh!”

Lynch's raised hand paused in midair, a sliver of sympathy stirring in his heart. Her father had died early, her mother was overprotective, and she was constantly at risk of being targeted by cultists; she had never had a normal home environment. If she had been a bit dull, it might have been fine, but she happened to be exceptionally clever. It would have been stranger if she hadn't strayed down the wrong path.

It really wasn't entirely her fault.

That made it all the more reason to discipline her and drill the lesson into her head!

“Still making excuses?! If you didn't know it was wrong, why did you know to make me hide it from your mother?!”

“Wahhh, Mom would be sad!”

“You understand better than anyone in your heart! Let me tell you: every single thing you don't want your mother to know, every single thing you think will make your mother sad, is wrong! Think about it yourself—how many things have you done over these past two years that would break your mother's heart? How crushed would she be if she found out?!”

“Wah, wah, I don't want Mom to be sad!”

“Let me tell you, a person has to take responsibility for their actions! When you do something wrong, you must admit it! If you keep hiding things like this until you commit an irreversible mistake, your mother will probably jump into the Lande River out of grief! If I don't beat you until you can't walk today, you'll just dare to do it again in the future!”

“Wahhh, I was wrong! I'll never dare to do it again, ughhh!”

“Did you really take it to heart?”

“Really! Wah, I won't dare! Stop hitting me, ughhh, never again!”

Since his hand was already raised, he simply brought down one final slap. Right after, a voice spoke from the doorway.

“Hey, why are you still hitting her?”

Lynch's hair stood on end. His immediate thought was whether a kitchen knife or a frying pan would hurt more when slammed against his body. Turning his head, he saw Mrs. Maggie glaring at him with bloodshot eyes.

The reason she hadn't charged forward to fight him to the death was that Officer Natalie had covered her mouth and was holding her in a tight embrace. Mrs. Maggie wasn't struggling violently, but her gaze was ferocious enough to make Lynch's heart flutter with guilt.

The one who had spoken was Officer Natalie, who currently wore an intensely conflicted expression. Lynch looked helplessly at his hand and then at the exhausted girl beneath him who had no strength left to struggle, offering an awkward smile. “Uh... momentum.”

With that, he released the little rascal and sprang aside like he had touched a live wire. Released from the hold, Mrs. Maggie immediately let out a cry and rushed over. Instead of going after Lynch, however, she wrapped her daughter tightly in her arms.

“Are you all right? Are you hurt? Ughhh, he hit you so hard, ughhh...”

“What happened?” Officer Natalie leaned in beside Lynch and asked in a low whisper. “I was knocking on the door downstairs for ages earlier and no one answered. Looks like you were busy. Martha is usually quite well-behaved. Why did you beat her?”

“Phew... she secretly tried to put on my ring. It nearly scared the life out of me. Once I move into a new place, I'm definitely buying a safe to lock away all dangerous items.” Lynch shook his aching hand. Seeing the little rascal catching her breath after wailing her heart out, who knew how she would twist the truth next? He definitely had to move, otherwise this woman would probably pull a knife on him. Lynch quickly scurried over to the window and perched on the sill. “No time to explain, I'm making my escape first before a homicide happens. Remember to help me pack my things, I'm—”

Before he could jump, the girl's tearful wailing rang out once more.

“Wah, Mom, Uncle Lynch, I was wrong! I'm sorry, ughhh, I'm sorry... Mom, I shouldn't have lied to you...”

Hm?

He pulled his dangling leg back inside.