That Mood Named Wordless

“Clo, are you feeling any better?” A woman’s voice rang in Clo’s ear, interrupting her daydreaming. She had been quietly staring out the window, lost in thought.

“Much better, though it still hurts a bit to walk,” Clo said somewhat absently. On that day, she had pushed herself to attend classes rather than rest in the medical room. Now, she was simply staying home, taking her courses online. She no longer felt the same sense of urgency as before.

“Then take one more day off. Wait until next week to go back to school.” A woman sat on the edge of Clo’s bed. She had brought a simple meal; though it consisted of three dishes and a soup, a closer look revealed they were all pre-packaged foods. It seemed she hadn’t had time to prepare a proper dinner.

Clo nodded. She neither hated nor liked school; she just couldn’t muster any interest. For some reason, she lacked the motivation to go, though she knew the reason was likely because Li Yue hadn’t been there lately.

Li Yue had said she was participating in some... music competition, and had taken many days off. Just as the two of them had begun to understand each other, the chance for contact had vanished again...

Thinking of this, Clo felt an inexplicable sense of frustration. She let out a soft sigh and checked her phone. The forecast for the next two days called for rain; even if she went out, she wouldn’t see a glimpse of the sun. Thinking about it that way, she had no reason to leave the house at all.

“Tomorrow, your father and I are going to a gala with our investors. Do you want to come along?” Clo’s mother stroked Clo’s cheek. “We probably won’t have time to make dinner for you. The investor’s child will be there as well. Your father wants you to make friends with them; we’ll be collaborating long-term, and perhaps you’ll need each other’s support after you graduate.”

Clo hesitated. The words “It’s fine, I’ll just order takeout” were swallowed back down. She opened her mouth, but the response that came out was the same as always...

“Alright. Please help me prepare my clothes for tomorrow.” Under the covers, Clo’s clenched hands slowly relaxed. She let out another small sigh. She had heard that for people who sighed often, their good luck would quietly slip away. Clo didn’t know if that was true, but she had always felt she wasn't a particularly lucky person.

“Good. Have you applied the medicine for your bruises?” Clo’s mother pinched her daughter’s cheek. Seeing Clo give a slight nod, she said no more, simply waving her hand as she closed the door.

“...” Clo felt as though she had left something unsaid. Dejected, she picked up her spoon and began to eat. The food was no longer hot, merely lukewarm.

“So salty...” Clo took a sip of water, but the bitter, salty taste lingered on her tongue, spreading through her mouth. She took a few more bites, but she hadn't been very hungry to begin with. Combined with her rather foul mood, she ended up throwing the unfinished dinner into a black plastic bag.

...

“The Golden Exhibition Hall...” Clo murmured softly. She stopped to look at it from a distance. Her gait was slightly awkward because it was difficult to put weight on her right foot; her leg felt weak at times. She had been forced to use a solid silver cane. Her chosen outfit for the evening was somewhat formal and understated, making her look more mature, though the primary impression she gave was one of exhaustion.

“Grand, isn’t it? This is the venue for the Beres International Piano Competition. Our investor’s daughter crushed the competition to win the event.” Clo’s mother walked beside her, quietly providing context. “The participants are limited to those under twenty-five, but even so, many powerful competitors emerged.”

“The gentleman booked the entire venue. They say he wants to prolong the celebratory atmosphere. I don’t quite understand these people—perhaps those with an artistic soul simply think differently than we do?”

“Maybe they are... more sentimental?” Clo shrugged. She walked at a steady pace, the minor pain not affecting her too much.

“But you know, I don’t have much interest in this sort of thing,” Clo added dismissively. She didn't know how she felt about music. She had practiced it once but never pursued it deeply. She enjoyed listening, but she didn't like performing. She enjoyed the process of painting, but she didn't like looking at the finished product.

She didn't know why she felt this way. She only felt as though there was a massive black hole in her heart, and everything she did was an attempt to fill that void. But nothing she tried worked; she could muster no real interest in anything. Only things that were fragile, beautiful, and fleeting... could evoke a sense of resonance within her.

Fireflies flickering in a summer night, extinguished before dawn; red leaves falling in the autumn wind, turning to soil in an instant; fireworks blooming in the sky, turning to cold ash before they could even light up the long night...

Clo was lost in thought, yet at some point, she began to hear the melodious sound of a piano. In such a noisy environment, she noticed the things that were easily overlooked. Perhaps she really was out of place here.

“I’m going to find your father first. You can wander around. Don’t forget to come find us when you get a message on your phone.”

Clo nodded casually. She followed the sound of the piano, walking against the flow of the crowd. In this environment of intense golds, reds, blacks, and blues, she spotted the white-haired girl at a single glance. She sat alone at a massive piano; there was no one even to turn the pages for her, so she did it herself.

“A Steinway... quite the investment...” Clo clicked her tongue twice. She looked at the white-haired girl, and the girl looked back at her.

“I should have guessed it was you earlier... Honestly... If I’d realized sooner, my mood might not have been as bad as it is now.” Clo let out a wordless sigh. With a faint smile, she reached out her hand in a gesture of greeting.