“If you were given another chance, a chance to return to who you were back then, would you give up everything you have now?” Clo had once asked Li Yue while looking out at the starlit sky. She didn’t remember how Li Yue had answered; it seemed she had brushed it off with a joke, or perhaps she hadn't answered at all.
Clo knew that Li Yue always cared deeply, but she was constantly looking for ways to avoid it. There were some things that, as long as one kept running away from them, would never become a problem.
...
But clearly, there are some things that, no matter how much you try not to think about them or face them, will still find you in an unknown corner. They strike at your heart during your most difficult and vulnerable moments.
Facing everyone she had once cherished, Li Yue wavered for the first time. She repeatedly told herself in her heart that everything before her couldn't possibly be real. Yet, at this moment, another voice seemed to emerge within her, urging her to draw closer and let down all her guard. If she did, she could return to the beauty of the past.
All logic and all reason seemed useless under such mental temptation. Li Yue felt as if she had truly returned to the past, back to the version of herself who would still cry when in pain.
“How nostalgic...” Li Yue let out a long sigh. All the emotions she had suppressed seemed to break free from her control at this moment. She gently caught a single tear falling from the corner of her eye and held it before her, examining it. She desperately wanted to know whether this tear contained pain, regret, sadness... or some other complex emotion.
Or perhaps, every tear on her face right now represented a different feeling?
“Little Meng... why are you still crying? Come, come to us.” Li Yue saw that figure standing not far away, slowly walking toward her. Many people—or rather, deities—stood on this seemingly bright road. They smiled as they watched Li Yue, standing on both sides of the path leading to the Holy City.
“It’s okay now. Everything is over... Come...”
Li Yue’s fingers trembled slightly. She wanted to manifest the blood magic she was most familiar with, but some power seemed to be inhibiting her actions. She stared blankly at the deep blue sky in the far distance and the massive angel statue in the center of the white square. Nothing here had changed; it was exactly as it had been. It seemed as though she could just keep walking forward, never having to think again, and sink into a warm, happy harbor.
“I... how could I...” Li Yue clenched her teeth tightly. She felt her entire body trembling, seemingly slipping from her control. She wiped the tears from her face with the back of her hand and took a few shaky steps backward. She gently clutched her head, temporarily pushing those beautiful memories to the back of her mind. She felt that her current state was extremely chaotic.
“If you insist on forcing me to remember... then fine... It is time I faced those memories properly...”
...
Sunlight filtered through the rainbow-colored stained glass windows depicting the Miracles of Creation, falling into the dim cathedral. In the hazy darkness, it refracted into multicolored brilliance. The most golden ray fell upon the body of Saintess Daylight (one of the Five Staves).
She had returned to the academy less than two days ago. Having just finished her customary early morning prayers, she felt waves of exhaustion.
The followers of the sect she represented were becoming more numerous. Although their numbers were far from the scale and expansion speed of “Death,” she still felt a certain weight—like shackles—when those beliefs truly settled upon her.
All religious institutions had been eradicated by the Royal Court. People could choose whether to believe in the deity of “Death.” That deity did not demand mandatory faith; she only mandated that the object of the people’s faith must be a specific person or a certain correct ideological path.
Daylight, who had abandoned her faith in the “Savior,” was now promoting truth, goodness, and beauty in her own way. As a Calamity Warlock among the clear-headed, she naturally knew what the god she once believed in had truly become. She knew that the deity she worshipped had actually fallen long ago.
She opened the cathedral doors. The devout people below shouted her name, and she responded to them with a forced smile. She was still somewhat lost. As she looked at the people below, her mind wandered to the deity of “Death.”
So many people believed in her, so many feared her, so many revered her, and so many loathed her. With such a massive... mental anchors, how did she manage not to become lost, paranoid, or eventually driven mad by it all?
The corner of her eye twitched slightly. She looked at the tide-like crowd, her face wearing the same kind and gentle smile as always.
It was hard for her not to look back on that day when she had announced the death of their god before countless believers. In that atmosphere of despair and sorrow, those who chose not to commit suicide began to follow her. For the sake of so many followers, she had to become their deity.
In her heart, that god had fallen long ago. What led her now was still the afterglow of that god, and what she was doing now was distributing that afterglow to every believer who still chose to have faith.
In any case, every person with good intentions deserved a beautiful reward. Such people were often frustrated in reality, so... even if Heaven could not be proven to exist, it ought to exist.
...
If a Heaven truly existed in the world, what would it look like? Archaeologists had once interpreted the Holy City on unearthed murals as the legendary Heaven. That giant angel painting, which took up half the mural, was like the Creator who loved all living beings in people's hearts. However... was the Holy City truly Heaven?
“The Holy City... was never Heaven.” Li Yue’s wrist trembled slightly. Her memories began to push forward. She was no longer the girl laughing in the field of flowers; she had long since slaughtered everyone she once loved.
Bloody hues slowly covered the scene before her. Her hand continued to shake, but a blood crystal was now condensing in her palm.
“It’s nothing more than... making one last farewell.” She sliced off her left arm, which was now blooming with flesh-flowers, and pointed her blood sword at the phantoms filling the air.
“All of the past... has already turned to ashes and dust.”
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