The gym membership drive was a recent initiative, and Bai Xiaodu had quickly figured out the tricks of the trade.
Never do business with demanding, broke freeloaders, and never sell gold cards to the filthy rich.
The broke ones had already been squeezed dry of every single drop by the Federation's tax laws.
As for the rich, they knew how to use those same tax laws to ensure you couldn't squeeze a single cent out of them, and you might even end up losing money in the process.
Staring at the ringing phone screen, Bai Xiaodu rubbed his temples.
To be honest, he didn't dare hang up.
It was the first time Bai Xiaodu had ever seen his boss—a minotaur as big and sturdy as an ox—looking so obsequious and servile.
The afternoon sun was already fading. Usually at this hour, there were only a few clients signing up for memberships, or some regular members trying out new workouts, while potential new clients were either politely ushered out or subtly nudged toward buying memberships.
But then, two bodyguards—or rather, servants, given how deferential they were—had eagerly pushed open the doors.
With a cold face, her deep red eyes swept across the room with commanding authority, instantly silencing the ambient noise as if striking fear into everyone's hearts.
She was a tall, mature vampire woman. A Saint Laurent suit jacket was draped loosely over her shoulders, accentuating her shapely, stunning curves.
She walked straight in, stepping through the fading sunlight without a care in the world.
Beside her snow-white neck, her blood-red earrings shimmered like seedless pomegranate arils.
Her silky silver hair, which clearly required an immense amount of maintenance, was tied back into a high, curly ponytail for convenience.
Fangs occasionally glinted in her mouth as she spoke, her voice laced with an undeniable undercurrent of disdain.
She was beautiful—so beautiful that anyone looking at her for the first time would instantly feel a wave of self-deprecation.
It had been close to closing time, and Bai Xiaodu, sensing trouble, had tried to slip away.
The woman was simply too rich. She was far beyond their target demographic.
Moreover, judging by that extraordinary aura of intimidation, she was highly likely a transcendent.
The United Federation was a place that publicly championed human rights but privately engaged in all sorts of shady dealings.
Transcendents and ordinary humans were already two entirely different species physiologically. Psychologically, the gap was just as vast.
To be precise, she shouldn't even have set foot in a place like this to work out.
On her very first visit, she had demanded a private room. Bai Xiaodu had been utterly dumbfounded at the time; how could his boss's open-layout gym have private rooms?
But what do you know? She simply bought out the entire second floor of the gym, had all the equipment torn down and reinstalled, and built an entirely separate private gym.
To get it ready as quickly as possible, she had casually thrown up a soundproofing and perception-shielding barrier as a wall. The cost of the mana stones alone was more expensive than the actual renovation.
Money was clearly no object.
But that brought up a new problem: who would be her personal trainer?
In a gym that couldn't even rank in the city's top ten, who was qualified to be a personal trainer for a filthy rich transcendent?
Since practical value was out of the question, they had to focus on emotional value.
Bai Xiaodu, who had been halfway out the door, was dragged back by his boss, who was practically gnashing his teeth.
“Boss, please, no. I'm still young, and I have hands and feet. I can't do this.”
“No? You have to, even if you can't. Be a good personal trainer, make some good money for the gym, and I'll make sure you're well taken care of.”
So why didn't he just leech off someone so rich? Why did he constantly try to stick to video calls and avoid in-person sessions?
Was he just ungrateful?
No, Bai Xiaodu was simply too self-aware.
He could act as an emotional support streamer, shamelessly showing his face and using his voice to charm young girls with a bit of spare cash. He could also work as an amusement park mascot, fabricating a dozen tragic stories in a split second to coax pity from female college students.
But he absolutely did not dare deceive this vampire.
Bai Xiaodu knew all too well whose money was safe to take and whose was a death trap.
The term "Transcendent Lord" wasn't just for show.
Many ordinary citizens in the Federation were blessed with good looks, which, in other words, made them nothing more than natural playthings.
When you played with an Ultraman toy, did you ever worry if it hurt when you bent its legs?
And while you might hesitate to snap your toy, a Transcendent Lord wouldn't hesitate to break you in half.
“Why don't you just tell her you're a guy?”
Haha.
He looked like he was practically begging to find out what it was like to be a rich woman's plaything.
Steeling himself, Bai Xiaodu answered the call.
The voice on the other end was melodious. It was clear that the mature vampire lady was trying her best to speak gently.
“Four o'clock this afternoon. Be in my private room on time for my session.”
“Yes, thank you for personally letting me know... I...”
His eyes darted around frantically as he racked his brain for a reason to suggest a remote, online session instead.
A cold? A fever? Circumcision recovery? An HIV flare-up? Syphilis?
“Yuzusoft!”
“Yo-ro-shi-ku o-ne-gai-shi-ma-su ne!”
“Ciallo～(∠・ω＜ )⌒☆”
A voice that sounded completely out of this world suddenly exploded in his mind.
“What the hell?”
Bai Xiaodu blurted out instinctively, but he immediately realized he was still on the phone with his client.
“I am so sorry! I ran into a minor issue on my end. I'll call you right back!”
He hurriedly hung up, tossed his phone aside, and slapped his own forehead.
It definitely wasn't an auditory hallucination. No hallucination could speak so clearly and accurately, complete with such a cute, drawn-out final syllable.
Bai Xiaodu suddenly grew incredibly excited, his hands trembling.
Could it be?
As he focused his consciousness, a virtual panel quietly materialized before him.
Tears almost welled up in Bai Xiaodu's eyes.
Though it had taken a long time for his system to finally arrive, at this moment, he felt nothing but sheer bliss.
This was amazing. Please let it be a sign-in system that rewards the Ancient Desolate Sacred Body.
If that was too much of a cheat, gaining one point of mana per second would be great too.
And if all else failed, grinding proficiency to godhood seemed like a solid path.
Wait.
As he read the name of his system clearly, Bai Xiaodu froze.
What is this...?
What do you mean by:
【Yuzusoft's Latest Masterpiece!】
【Facing the relentless pursuit of a mature woman, the desperate outlaw has nowhere to run! It is time for the king to descend and show a wrathful grimace!】
Such an incredibly long and bizarre name made Bai Xiaodu's heart skip a beat, but he quickly breathed a sigh of relief upon seeing the real-time panel and progress bar.
As long as it had this, it was a proper cultivation system.
When cultivating spells or vital energy, the biggest fear was making a mistake and straying further off course. Hiring instructors was outrageously expensive and not guaranteed to work.
But with precise decimal progress trackers, he could always train in the exact right way. Even if he just mindlessly ground his stats, he could eventually force his way into becoming a powerful transcendent.
With this in mind, Bai Xiaodu eagerly opened the system's official manual.
A block of text popped up.
【The ancients once said, or perhaps Lu Xun said it:】
【"A little boy with a mature woman is like a small pony pulling a giant carriage."】
【Alas! What absolute truth! Magnificent!】
Rows of character profile cards were displayed, but without exception, every single one of them was blank.
Beneath each card was an Affection progress bar. For any amount exceeding 20%, a corresponding greyed-out gift icon appeared for every 10% milestone.
Bai Xiaodu quickly caught on.
It was probably some kind of dating sim system. This was perfect! This was his absolute specialty.
He could talk a sweet game so well that even he didn't believe his own words. Wouldn't his Affection levels just skyrocket effortlessly?
After a brief thought, he took out his phone and unblocked 【Chunchun Tree Duck (Bitch)】.
Ignoring the previous conversation about the "baji," Bai Xiaodu got straight to the point.
“Do you have feelings for me?”
A few seconds passed. It was as if the other party had been lying depressed on her bed after being rejected for harassment, getting ready to waste some time playing mobile games to soothe her mood, only to discover she had been unblocked and was suddenly revived with full health. She replied with sheer delight.
【Chunchun Tree Duck (Bitch)】:
“I'm so sorry! I got too excited! I saw how tired you were and wanted to cheer you up, but I accidentally went too far! Please forgive me!”
In a room somewhere, a girl was kicking her legs in excitement.
He seems to like me!
What should we name our future children?!
Ahhhhhhh!
【Current target does not meet binding requirements!】
Bai Xiaodu frowned and promptly put her back on the blacklist.
His gaze drifted as he recalled the words the system had blurted out upon activation.
“A giant carriage... lolis... a little boy with a mature woman...”
As if guided by some unseen force, Bai Xiaodu's gaze fell back onto his phone.
In his call log, a recently disconnected, still-warm call lay there silently.
Rate on N.U.
