“Father, why don't you let me interact with those goblins and ogres... Aren't you an ogre yourself?”
The child's question fell into my silence.
To humans, most monsters and exotic beasts were greedy and brutal...
But monsters weren't humans to begin with, so how could things between different races be lumped together?
Like ogres; in truth, humans made up only a very, very small portion of their diet. In fact, ogres would eat anything, including their own kind from different tribes.
But compared to the packs of magic lions on the other side of the forest, ogres actually ate very few humans...
At the very least, ogres ate humans to fill their bellies, not for any other reason.
It was only because of our terrifying appearance that humans used us to frighten their children, turning us into “ogres.” I remembered the old shaman telling me that humans originally called us Jungle Lesser Trolls.
In fact, in the eyes of most monsters, humans were far more brutal than ogres. Humans would mindlessly trespass into monsters' territories to enslave and hunt them even when they weren't hungry... Humans wanted almost everything. To those monsters, this kind of killing and enslaving that wasn't just to fill one's stomach was incredibly bizarre and cruel...
But I knew why. It was for a metal called money... Although I still couldn't understand why humans would wage wars against each other—and even occasionally slaughter their own kind—all for the sake of these metals.
Of course, I couldn't say all of this directly to Ogre.
He was, after all, a human.
“You are a human. To humans, goblins, ogres, and other monsters are dangerous, greedy, and brutal. They are your enemies, and you must never harbor even a shred of sympathy for them...”
Yes, I hated them too...
But I wouldn't deliberately slander them.
“But isn't Father very good? Are there really no good ones among the other ogres and goblins?” Ogre asked, somewhat puzzled.
“Perhaps there are, but they are probably all dead.” I pointed to a broken sword not far away and said to Ogre, “The owner of that broken sword was once a kind human woman, but in the end, she died because of her own kindness.”
Perhaps the world was simply like that.
But should good people suffer such a fate?
I didn't know, I couldn't figure it out, nor did I want to understand... Thus, I could only say to Ogre,
“Ogre, to judge whether a person is noble, you must look at their soul. One's race doesn't represent anything, but you must remember above all to protect yourself. You yourself are always the most important.”
“Father, Ogre understands.”
...
“Father, Bunny... it's not moving anymore...”
Mana rabbits had short lifespans, usually less than three years. It was already about a year old when I caught it, so it was only normal for it to die.
“Silly child, it is already dead...”
“Dead... But, but nothing harmed Bunny. Why would it die for no reason?” the child asked me.
This left me a bit tongue-tied. I didn't know how to answer because I had never thought about these things.
Birth, aging, sickness, and death seemed to be predestined from the very beginning.
But in the end, I still spoke up to explain and answer:
“Death is just returning to the place we were before we first came into this world. Even without injuries, the time every living being can stay in this world is limited.”
“But Father, why could Bunny only stay for two years...” Ogre asked me.
I knew. He had always been so eager to learn.
“I don't know. Perhaps this world is born unfair. A mana rabbit's life is just like this. It is very short to us, but on the other hand, our lifespans are also very short compared to the long-lived elves and demons. I believe the time we spend living in this world is not about its length, but whether it has meaning.”
I said to Ogre.
That was the philosophy I had developed after wandering for so long—because Ogre was my meaning.
I didn't know how much longer I could live, but I could faintly feel that my mind was no longer as clear as before, and my body was no longer as strong as it used to be.
I wasn't worried about the arrival of old age and death; I was only worried that Ogre would lose someone to take care of him...
“Father, I don't really understand... I just feel a bit sad.”
“My child, you will understand one day. Come, let's go bury Bunny.” I didn't explain too much to Ogre, only ruffling his hair.
One day, he would understand, but it was just too cruel for him.
Right now, he should be carefree.
“Ogre, how about I teach you the ogre language...” I suggested to him.
Throwing, climbing, and swimming—I had already taught him everything I could. It was time to teach him the ogre language... Perhaps it might come in handy one day.
Recently, my father, who was the chief of the ogre tribe, seemed to be preparing to establish an ogre kingdom...
To be honest, I didn't think highly of his chances...
...
As expected.
My doubts were justified.
The establishment of the ogre kingdom instantly drew a sweep by extremely powerful human professionals...
Fortunately, this had nothing to do with me. I had no attachment to that place.
But the heightened vigilance, along with the chaotic monsters, made procuring food even more difficult.
Perhaps it was time to let Ogre leave this place. The things I could teach him were growing fewer and fewer...
Since coming into contact with humans, I had realized the vastness of the world.
So the world was this big, with continents on the other side of the ocean, having their own civilizations; I wondered if the civilizations on the other side of the ocean were stronger, and if there were any ogres there.
And whether the ogres there were the same as us...
But the stronger and more civilized humans were, the better it was. That way, Ogre would be safer.
During this time, I taught Ogre everything I knew. This child learned very quickly, whether it was hand-to-hand combat or weapons. In this regard, he looked much more like a warrior than I ever did.
...
“Father!!!”
This was the first time I lay in Ogre's arms. Had he really grown this big without me realizing it?
Time really flew. In the blink of an eye, fourteen years had passed. Every time I thought about sending him away, I ended up being too selfish.
“It's fine. I knew this day would come sooner or later...” I tried my best to smile as I spoke to Ogre, but my injuries made my face look distorted.
Fortunately, Ogre had grown up. Even without me, he could survive on his own.
“Father, who hurt you like this... It's going to be okay. You can pull through. Herbs, where are the herbs...”
“It's useless... Ogre, I know my body better than you do... Listen to me, let me finish my final words. I want to spend a little more time with you...”
Only today did I understand.
I really, really couldn't bear to leave this child...
If only I were an ogre shaman, a single regeneration spell would make this level of injury vanish.
But unfortunately, I wasn't.
I could feel death approaching. Even though it was summer, I felt cold.
“Father!”
This was the first time I saw Ogre cry so bitterly.
I really wanted to reach out and wipe away his tears, but my claws had already been lost somewhere in this jungle.
“It's all my fault, it's all my fault. If it weren't for me... Father wouldn't have...”
“Don't cry, my child.” I rarely interrupted Ogre, but now I had to.
Whether it was my ogre constitution playing its part, or that so-called final rally of life, my words flowed more and more smoothly.
I could clearly feel Death drawing closer and closer.
“I don't blame you, Ogre, because... it is because of your existence that I could... make it this far. Don't be sad... Remember when I found you, you were crying even louder than this... But after seeing me... you smiled. Back then, you... were so adorable... I love your smile... cough, cough.”
When I coughed up blood again, I realized my time in this world was truly running out. “Ogre! Promise me one thing, okay?”
What a pity. Only now did I realize that I still had so many, many things I wanted to say to Ogre...
“Father, I promise you!” Ogre was as straightforward as always...
“Don't go looking for who killed me, and don't fill your heart with hatred for the world. Hatred will only end up hurting you in the end... I don't want to see that happen.”
I forced Ogre to nod with my gaze...
By this point, my mind was beginning to grow hazy. I had to quickly convey what was left... This was also the reason why I had held on until now.
“My child, remember what I told you? This world is unfair from the very beginning, so you must become strong. Only then will no one be able to bully you.
“Beneath your bed is a map of the surrounding towns I drew long ago. It should help you a bit.
“Mages come to town every year to test for talent; you can go try. The wealth I left for you should be enough for your tuition... hopefully.
“If you don't have the talent for magic, the Church of Truth is also a good choice. You are so strong, you should be able to get chosen...
“Ogre, you were born too beautiful. Even as a boy, you might not necessarily be safe, so, so you must be as careful as possible...
“I investigated your origins.
“I feel like you are not a child of ordinary people... But I am sorry, your father failed to find out anything over the years.
“The name Kessin might have something to do with you... It was left in the place where I found you. If you want to find your kin... you can try to keep looking.
“After all, you are a human... and so you must have your own name...
“Ah... Ogre.
“I really wanted to watch you... grow up.”
My entire life flashed before my eyes like a revolving lantern—and in the end, I could see and hear nothing...
So, this is death... What a pity, I can't tell Ogre the answer now.
I hope Ogre won't be too sad.
It's not worth it.
After all, I was just a... terrible, selfish father.
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