“Great water spirit...”
The group stood around the pond at a loss, watching the restless surface of the water.
“Heh... Great water spirit, my foot...”
“I'm tainted now.”
The water spirit's lifeless, spiritless voice floated up from the bottom of the pond.
Those are definitely not words a water spirit should be saying.
“In the eyes of the world, I must already be a total sl*t.”
“A sl*t of a water spirit who'll do it with anyone she meets for the first time.”
“Hehe... When is this world going to end?”
Forget a water spirit—these were words only a Demon King would say.
Li Xiuman felt compelled to protest against such baseless slander.
Li Xiuman, the skeleton who practiced love and justice, would never say such outrageously treasonous words.
“Why did he do this to me? That godforsaken Crystal Hero!”
“He pissed me off so damn much!”
A string of bubbles floated up to the water's surface.
The water spirit was live-streaming her sexy bubble-blowing routine.
“Um, great water spirit... what about us...?”
Although it seemed like a terrible time to bring this up, Brad gritted his teeth and spoke up anyway.
“...”
“Oh right, there's still you guys!”
The water spirit broke through the water again, staring at the crowd with her colorful eyes full of expectation.
“Um, great...”
“No, no, no, I am merely an insignificant little spirit.”
“Great and brave hero-samas, could you help this humble spirit fulfill a tiny little wish~?”
The water spirit switched back to that high-pitched, fake-sweet voice from her startup animation.
“...”
“What... do you mean?”
Brad felt that things were spiraling way out of expectation.
Well, ever since this water spirit popped out, everything had gone entirely off the rails.
“Help this poor, troubled little spirit clear her name in the mortal world!”
“I shall grant you my blessing in the name of the pure spring.”
She spoke with a sweet smile playing on her lips.
“And that... means?”
“Help this spirit—bah, I mean, help this insignificant little spirit change all copies of The Crystal Hero's Dragon-Slaying Epic on the market back to something normal!”
“The new version must highlight my purity and holiness!”
The water spirit assumed a dignified expression.
“And my beauty!”
The water spirit blew a wink.
“And my peerless benevolence and kindness!”
The water spirit struck a pitiable, delicate pose.
Everyone else froze on the spot, while only Li Xiuman was calculating how much money he could make if he drained this entire pond and sold it.
It must be worth tens of thousands of gold coins at least.
The cognitive limitations of the poor.
“Besides, that Crystal Hero is truly despicable!”
The water spirit dropped her delicate act, crossed her arms, and gnashed her teeth.
“Fantasizing about defiling this spirit!”
“All just to make me a background piece to flex his charm in his heroic tale!”
“Damned bastard! Turning his bones to dust and scattering his ashes wouldn't even be punishment enough!”
Hearing this, Li Xiuman's eyes lit up.
Grinding bones to dust and scattering ashes? Please, leave such a wonderful task to me!
The Crystal Hero was a dragon-slaying hero who left behind a legendary epic. If he could harvest that guy's bones...
They surely wouldn't be much worse than the previous master of the Glacial Seal Sword's arm bone.
After his recent level-up, the energy in Li Xiuman's left arm bone had been completely depleted.
If he could get his hands on a bone overflowing with energy that couldn't be washed clean...
“You're right! Grind his bones to dust and scatter his ashes!”
Li Xiuman's sudden outburst drew the water spirit's attention.
“It's a pity the Crystal Hero passed away many years ago,” she said.
“Then dig him up, and then grind his bones to dust and scatter his ashes!”
The water spirit declared without a moment's hesitation.
With an image like this, are you really a water spirit and not an impostor?
This is straight-up villain behavior.
Though, I like it.
Having vented her rage, the water spirit wore a refreshed expression, seemingly calming her frustrated mood.
“Alright! If you agree to these conditions, I'll give you my blessing.”
“Otherwise, otherwise!”
“Otherwise, don't even dream of getting a blessing from this spirit for the rest of your lives!”
She's straight-up threatening us now.
What's with this tsundere-style threat?
As expected of a water spirit, her persona—no, her hydro-sona—easily contained a massive variety of archetypes.
“However, after the Crystal Hero grew old, he went into seclusion,” Li Xiuman said.
“Nobody knows where his tomb is.”
Li Xiuman's words caused everyone to turn their gaze toward him.
Their expressions clearly read: Are you actually planning to dig him up and grind his bones to dust?!
Even the water spirit looked at him with three parts delight, three parts surprise, and three parts trepidation.
Those giant, colorful eyes were somehow capable of forming a pie-chart distribution of emotions with their shifting colors.
Truly impressive.
“You... you're serious?”
“Of course! A hypocritical scoundrel who dared defile the great water spirit is someone I cannot tolerate!”
What is with this righteous, indignant tone?
“W-Well then, good!”
“That brat back then accepted my blessing and spread rumors afterward. Unforgivable!”
“Fortunately, I left behind a little trick.”
The water spirit extended her finger, condensing a single rainbow-colored drop of water on her fingertip.
Then, it hardened into a teardrop-shaped iridescent gem that fell into Li Xiuman's hand.
“Toss this into the air, and when it falls to the ground, it will point in that bastard's direction.”
“Even if he's dead, it will still point right toward his corpse!”
“Haha! That fool actually dared to scheme against this spirit!”
“I secretly tamper with every single blessing I give out!”
“Don't think this spirit is some naive, innocent airhead! I'm super scheming!”
“Alright, time to give you your blessings!”
“What's wrong? Why isn't anyone stepping forward?”
The water spirit looked at the group in confusion.
“Scheming” indeed.
It seemed no one present fancied having their corpses dug up countless years after they died.
That kind of breaking out of the earth to see the light of day again clearly didn't fit anyone's ideal vision of resurrection.
After all, nobody would like having their femur used by neighborhood kids to slash at rapeseed flowers at the edge of the village.
A certain skeleton who used his own ribs to hack people felt deeply called out.
“Ah!”
“I accidentally let that slip...”
“...”
The water spirit belatedly realized her blunder.
“...I won't tamper with yours.”
“Trust me.”
Your criminal record and previous behavior make it very hard to trust your words.
“Sob sob sob... I'm supposed to be a sacred water spirit!”
“Yet you're all looking at me with those eyes!”
“What evil intentions could a cute water spirit like me possibly have?”
She went back to the fake-sweet voice again.
Damn it... I really want to beat this spirit back into Spirit Spring water and sell it to strike it rich.
“Don't worry, I won't mark you!”
“I swear in the name of the water element!”
A spirit entity born from the water element swearing in the name of the water element.
It seemed she was serious this time.
“Then... I'll go first.”
Brad fulfilled his duties as captain once again, stepping forward to test the waters first.
After all, this water spirit seemed to have a bit of a missing screw.
God knew what kind of blessing she would give.
Still, with the Crystal Hero as living advertisement, it was worth looking forward to.
Rate on N.U.
