Hu Ban'er's eyes grew firmer, and his mind spun faster.
Humans and demons ultimately walked different paths, and the Ma family was no exception.
Although he didn't know who had sent this thing, no one was going to stop the Hu family from tightly clinging to the Mountain Lord's thigh!
Hu Ban'er was so excited that both his nostrils dilated to twice their size. He lunged forward, and while the kid was pulling out his ruler, he executed a smooth combo of grabbing his crotch, gouging his chest, and kicking his stomach. Then, with a flick of his tail, he sprayed half a bladder's worth of rank yellow urine like heavenly maidens scattering flowers:
“Sssss!!”
“Ahhh... My eyes! My eyes! It hurts! What did you do to my eyes?!”
Li Dapeng, who had been clamoring about “This Venerable,” got his eyes completely drenched in the rank yellow urine and instantly screamed in agony:
“Aaaaaah, it's burning me! I can't see! Damn it! You dead fox! I will tear you into ten thousand pieces!”
This young man, who had just been talking so big, paid the corresponding price. The “wild and sinister” look on his face vanished, replaced by deep terror.
The inflated confidence from playing with the government police was like a bloated balloon suddenly pricked by a sharp needle.
Hu Ban'er happily wagged his tail and turned to report back to Nan Zhi, only to find that the fog in the sky had dispersed slightly. The white tiger woman was lazily lying on a cloud, her golden eyes sweeping over:
“Ask him what is up with the four ghosts following behind him.”
He immediately nodded, turned to jump onto a tombstone, and questioned Li Dapeng with his head held high:
“The Mountain Lord asks you, what is up with the four ghosts following behind you?”
“Whew... whew... What four ghosts? What nonsense are you talking about?”
Li Dapeng leaned back against a tombstone, gripping the steel ruler tightly with both hands, trying to give himself some sense of security.
Hu Ban'er was in no hurry and just stared at him.
—Fox urine had a hallucinogenic effect. Once the effects kicked in, the kid would answer whatever he was asked.
“What Mountain Lord? What woman? Don't play tricks on me. I'm the protagonist, you can't kill me!”
Li Dapeng suddenly felt a bit of regret. Seeing the white fog, he had thought a treasure had appeared in the cemetery and rushed over to scavenge.
It hurt like hell.
But it didn't matter. The male protagonist always turned danger into safety. Even if he fainted, some powerful and noble peerless beauty would surely come to save him.
Thinking this, Li Dapeng secretly breathed a sigh of relief.
Recalling the indifferent female voice he had just heard, he couldn't help but grin with confidence:
Judging by the voice, she must be a cold, elegant older sister. If she saved him, once he became a successful cultivator in the future, he would make her his primary wife.
Isn't that how it's always written in novels?
...
Locals knew there was a man-eating monster in the cemetery.
But only he, relying on his fast speed, had stealthily followed behind that thing and caught a glimpse of it.
Green-faced and sharp-fanged, it was as ugly as the ghosts in Journey to the West.
Three months ago, Li Dapeng was just a second-generation rich kid who wasted his days waiting to die and spent money like water. His parents hoped for nothing more than for him to stay peacefully in school and not get scammed outside.
His greatest daily pleasure was leading a gang of lackeys around to stand up for his brothers.
Compared to the sleep-inducing textbooks in school, running wild in society was so much more interesting.
Swords clashing, unstable times, brotherly loyalty, stabbing oneself in the ribs for a friend.
Li Dapeng spent all day fantasizing about becoming a martial arts master and roaming the jianghu, just like Chan Ho-nam in old Hong Kong movies, living on the edge of a blade, dashing and uninhibited, preferably with a beautiful, stuttering girl sticking by his side through thick and thin.
Or maybe one day his powers would awaken, and he would possess superpowers like Superman, standing above tens of thousands, with the whole world relying on him for salvation—those who obeyed him would prosper, and those who opposed him would perish.
As it turned out, this dream actually came true.
Three months ago, his biological father acquired a Tibetan human bone thumb ring from an auction.
Li Dapeng knew this thing was valuable, so he stole it. Originally, he had planned to show it off to his brothers.
Who would have thought that during a fight, his nosebleed dripped onto the bone ring, causing it to shatter, and a cultivation manual suddenly appeared in his mind:
《Great Freedom Joy Spirit Absorption Art》
Li Dapeng was naturally overjoyed. He immediately began cultivating according to what was written on it. As a result, in less than half a month, his strength increased nearly tenfold, and he could easily punch a hole through a concrete wall!
This was exactly like what was written in novels!
He immediately began “recruiting soldiers and buying horses.” Not only did he secure his position as the boss of No. 1 Middle School, but he also gathered a group of brothers, planning to do something grand and dynamic.
He was no fool.
Although the government intentionally covered it up, news of “Spiritual Resurgence” was flying everywhere, and supernatural events were being reported all over the place. A new era was about to arrive.
When that time came, the world structure would be completely reshuffled, and social classes would shift. A powerhouse like him would surely leap to become a master of men, worshiped by everyone.
However, on the protagonist's path of growth, there were always villainous characters.
Li Dapeng's eyes turned cold.
His homeroom teacher kept prattling on with grand principles every day, thinking being a teacher made them a big deal. They always used their authority to make things difficult for them and loved standing up for the poor kids in the class, acting all high and mighty.
It just looked fake.
So Li Dapeng took advantage of the homeroom teacher getting off work, knocked him unconscious, and threw him into the river.
After doing all this, he only felt refreshed.
Hmph, those who humiliate others will surely be humiliated in turn.
This was the fate of ordinary mortals who dared to offend a cultivator.
The second villain was a female classmate from his tutoring class who looked down on him.
That girl was very beautiful, with fair skin and big eyes. When she smiled, she looked a bit like Joey Wong. She was practically the childhood sweetheart in novels who would stick by the male lead through thick and thin.
Li Dapeng brought expensive gifts and made a high-profile confession of love, giving her plenty of face. Who would have thought she would ruthlessly reject him?
He thought about it all night and finally understood:
She must be just like the second female lead who favored the rich, despised the poor, and looked down on the protagonist's talent. According to the plot, once he achieved success and fame in the future, she would definitely kneel on the ground, crying and begging for his forgiveness.
But he was a cultivator, and what he believed in was a swift settlement of grudges and paying back even the slightest offense.
So that very night, Li Dapeng brought gasoline and burned down the girl's family villa. The family of three all died in the fire.
But unfortunately, he still wasn't cautious enough. He was caught by the government's lackeys and became a wanted criminal.
Hmph, history is written by the strong. Kill one man, and you are a criminal; kill ten thousand, and you are a hero; kill a million, and you are a hero among heroes!
What did the law matter?
Once he became a great cultivator, let alone the law, even the rules of the world would have to be set by him!
Li Dapeng lay on the tombstone with a smile on his face, white foam at the corners of his mouth, yet he was still murmuring to himself:
“...I am the protagonist. I carry heaven's mandate. No one can kill me...”
“Cold and elegant fairy, cute childhood sweetheart, mysterious holy maiden, superstar... all in my harem...”
You haven't even wiped the fox urine off your mouth, and you're still fantasizing here?
After listening to Li Dapeng's self-narration, Nan Zhi's face remained expressionless. She merely opened her mouth lazily and exhaled a breath, as if yawning—
“Whoosh!”
A vortex of wind rose from the flat ground. The small whirlwind grew into a massive gale, swirling up and carrying the shattered corpses and concrete from the ground into the sky. Countless bits of sand, stone, and bone fragments swept past Li Dapeng's face like a torrential geyser—
The wind grew larger and more rapid. Flying sand and rolling stones rubbed and collided in the air, splashing countless sparks. It ground away the skin on Li Dapeng's face, ground away his eyelids, revealing crimson muscles and bulging eyeballs.
With his eyeballs exposed to the air, amidst the heart-wrenching pain, Li Dapeng finally saw the woman of his fantasies clearly.
But she was not some cold, elegant older sister with a curvaceous and seductive figure.
She was a black-haired, tiger-eared giantess over two meters tall, with a calm expression.
She sat high upon the clouds, looking down from above as if she were merely watching a small insect that happened to fly past. Easily and casually, she let out a yawn.
The fierce wind swept in, roaring in his ears.
Li Dapeng heard the joints in his body shattering inch by inch. Countless blood vessels burst, flesh tore away from his body, and his soul seemed to struggle to break free—
He wasn't dead yet. He lay on the ground like a bloody gourd, all the skin scraped clean from his body. Four ghostly shadows pounced on him, frantically gnawing at his flesh and soul.
“Hehehehe...”
Li Dapeng struggled, his face, which could no longer show any expression, twitching a few times before he died.
Nan Zhi changed her lying position. She waited until those few ghosts had finished devouring Li Dapeng's soul and were about to transform into evil ghosts before blowing another breath of air, dispersing the several evil souls.
If she didn't kill him, was she supposed to keep him around for the New Year?
Regardless of whether Li Dapeng's appearance was a government test, he had to die.
Hu Ban'er lay on the ground, his fox face full of daze, clearly not having recovered his senses yet.
Just one breath.
Just one breath.
Flying sand, rolling stones, and utter darkness.
If this was a test...
To see if the Mountain Lord would kill?
He just didn't know what the government official-in-charge's face would look like when they saw the scene.
Rate on N.U.
