“So, the reason these watchmen are bedridden is because...”
Nanzhi spoke dryly, finding it somewhat hard to believe:
“They were injured by a ghost using a sorghum stalk—”
In the butt?
“Precisely.”
Nan Yi looked like he wanted to laugh but didn't dare to. Beside him, Headman Zhang was already doubled over with laughter, merrily slapping his chest:
“Hahahaha! I've lived this long and I've never heard of a ghost tormenting people like this!
If the people from the Demon Suppressors came, they probably wouldn't believe it either, hahahaha!!”
How wicked.
Truly wicked.
As everyone knows, people are most relaxed when they are in the latrine.
Not just because it's an absolutely private space, but also because it's where one can release their natural instincts.
Who would have thought they'd be ambushed in the safest place of all, the latrine?!
And attacked in such a tragic and inhuman way as having their butt poked with a sorghum stalk!
No matter the reason, this ghost is seriously lacking in morals, isn't it?!
Nanzhi silently opened the map and stared at the red name in the corner. She turned to Headman Zhang and Nan Yi and whispered:
“Ghosts have no physical form; even if they were to harm someone, they wouldn't act like this.
This monster is hiding in the backyard latrine. Let's quietly surround it and catch it in the act.”
Upon hearing they were going to catch a monster, Headman Zhang rubbed his hands together in excitement. He volunteered to lead the charge, letting the Nan siblings bring up the rear.
The three of them agreed on a plan: Headman Zhang would pretend to use the latrine to lure the monster out, while Nanzhi and Nan Yi waited outside the wall to strike from both sides.
“Don't worry! It's just a little monster. I'll make sure it doesn't leave in one piece!”
Headman Zhang rattled the long saber at his waist, full of confidence:
“You two don't even need to lift a finger. I can handle this alone!”
So what if it pokes butts with a sorghum stalk?
At worst, he'd just be prepared and protect his vital areas in advance. He didn't believe the monster could succeed again.
Nanzhi watched as Headman Zhang charged into the latrine with full confidence.
Why did she have a bad feeling about this?
Sure enough, after the time it takes to burn a stick of incense, Headman Zhang's agonizing curses rang out from the latrine:
“Damn your mother! Aaaah! You bastard... blech... actually used... excrement... for a sneak attack... blech...”
Nanzhi: ...
She wasn't surprised at all.
On the map, the three red characters for 【Red Fox】 were strikingly visible.
Fox spirits in stories: Seductive and enchanting, with beauty that can topple kingdoms, capable of bewitching hearts with a single smile.
Fox spirits in reality: Petty and vengeful, poking your butt with a corn stalk and splashing you with excrement.
...
Foxes actually didn't have much combat power.
A moment later, Nanzhi caught the culprit who had just ambushed Headman Zhang at the mouth of the alley.
It was a large fox with entirely red fur.
This fox was quite fierce, hissing at Nanzhi incessantly:
“Hiss—”
Humans are humans because they know how to use tools.
Holding a manure fork, Nanzhi made quick work of it, pinning the smelly fox in a corner.
Although she couldn't smell anything through the game, she still couldn't help herself. She found a water vat and tossed the fox inside to give it a rinse.
Poking people's butts with corn stalks and splashing them with poop...
She had never seen such a wicked and foul set of tactics.
...
【Congratulations, Cultivator, on defeating the monster "Red Fox"】
【Victory! Obtained: Hemostatic Grass x20, Copper Coins x5, Blood Replenishing Pill x5】
【Obtained: Level EXP 100, Local Reputation +10】
【Cultivator's Current Level: 7】
【Cultivator's Cultivation: Qi Condensation Level 1】
This fox was as large as a calf, and its entire coat was a rare, vibrant red.
Its long tail was tucked between its legs, and its triangular fox face was filled with a very human-like expression of pleading:
“Young lady, immortal, no, no, beautiful lady!”
The fox blinked its narrow eyes innocently, trying to gain Nanzhi's sympathy:
“This little monster was originally just a wild fox in the mountains. One day, I was fortunate enough to swallow a spirit herb, which awakened my intelligence and allowed me to enter the path of cultivation.
Seeing your noble brow and beauty that surpasses mortals, and this young gentleman's dignified and righteous bearing, you two must surely possess great talent and background.
If you are willing to release this little monster, I am willing to take you as my godmother. In the future, all the wild fruits and delicacies of the mountains will be yours for the taking. I wouldn't dare to disobey any of your commands.”
Nanzhi remained expressionless and gave the scruff of its neck a hard pinch:
“Shut up, you filthy fox who likes to poke butts and splash people with sewage.
No wonder people say foxes are cunning... I don't believe a single word you say.”
This fox was low-level but extremely cunning; even a veteran constable like Headman Zhang had suffered greatly at its hands.
—As soon as Headman Zhang came out of the latrine, he headed straight home without saying a word.
It seemed he was beyond furious.
This Red Fox had originally been causing trouble around Wangjia Bridge, stealing chickens, harassing dogs, pilfering silver, and making a mess—all standard procedures.
The most ridiculous part was that this fox would always hide in people's woodpiles and mimic a rooster's crow in the middle of the night to disturb their sleep.
If that weren't enough, after entering the city, it even stole women's dresses and robes, draped them over itself, and mimicked human walking on the streets in the dead of night.
When it encountered a watchman, the Red Fox would grab them and open its wide mouth to ask:
“Do I look like a person or a god to you?”
Imagine it: in the dead of night, with the city pitch-black, a watchman walks down a small path carrying a lantern with a flickering candle.
From afar, he sees a slender woman swaying as she approaches, but upon closer inspection, beneath the veil is a Red Fox with its bloody maw wide open.
The watchman is so terrified he drops his lantern on the spot and flees without a word.
Even worse, this fox was vengeful, specifically waiting for the watchmen to use the latrine so it could splash them with excrement.
It would even take advantage of them having their pants down to jab their butts with a sorghum stalk!
Truly wicked.
Headman Zhang just wasn't paying attention and was hit head-on by the catastrophic deluge of filth.
Nanzhi had also nearly been splashed.
Even if it was just her game character, it was still incredibly disgusting.
...
...
Wearing his runner's uniform, Nan Yi stood to the side holding a volume of records. Hearing Nanzhi speak, he asked curiously:
“This fox has been squeaking and screeching for a while. Has it confessed to anything?”
—He couldn't understand the fox's cries; those flattering words sounded like nothing more than a long string of strange screeches to his ears.
“It says the fox clan will never be slaves and would rather die than submit, so we should just give it a quick end.”
Nanzhi held the half-dead fox and gave it a shake, grinning wickedly as she stared at its red pelt.
Every hair on the Red Fox's body stood on end as it struggled desperately: “Squeak squeak squeak squeak!!!”
That's not what I said at all!!
You're slandering a monster!
You're slandering a monster!
—It had even forgotten how to beg for mercy.
“So this fox is the monster that's been scaring the watchmen so much they're afraid to go out and strike the watches?”
Nan Yi held the book, his finger sliding down the text recorded within. After a while, he smiled and spoke:
“In that case, Big Sister has earned another merit for the county office. How do you plan to deal with this creature?”
“If we send it straight to the county office, this fox will likely end up dead.”
Nanzhi pondered for a moment: “Maybe we should just kill it. Nan Ye mentioned a couple of days ago that she was missing a fur vest.
This is perfect. I'll skin it today and sew a red fox vest. What do you think, Nan Yi?”
That's even worse than sending it to the county office.
Nan Yi glanced at the despairing Red Fox, his hand holding the book pausing for a moment:
“There's a hunter in the north of the city who specializes in skinning. He can remove a pelt perfectly intact, with every hair preserved and even the eyes looking lifelike.
How about we send it to him?”
【Cultivator's Choice (Cannot be undone, please choose carefully):】
【A. Those of a different race must have different hearts; they must be completely exterminated.】
【B. Heaven has the virtue of loving life; spare it.】
Rate on N.U.
