The lizardman lord of the Black Swamp fled overnight, carrying his bedding and all.
This news spread like a gust of wind through the outer regions of the Eternal Night Peninsula.
After all, while 'Slippery Skin' Saak wasn't a top-tier overlord, he was still a ruthless character. To have him so terrified that he abandoned his nest and made a strategic retreat in the middle of the night...
Just what kind of person was this new neighbor?
For a time, all sorts of speculations were rife.
Some said an ancient lich had awakened and was living in that castle.
Others claimed it was a mad alchemist specializing in flesh and blood magic.
But regardless of what it was, all the rumors pointed to one thing—
That place was dangerous.
Extremely dangerous.
Consequently, the area within a thirty-mile radius of the Benevolent Heart Clinic instantly became a vacuum zone.
Forget monsters; even a mouse didn't dare approach.
This left Director Victor, who had been counting on 'word of mouth to bring in a flood of patients,' in a state of deep self-doubt.
"This shouldn't be happening."
Victor stood on the castle balcony, holding a cup of freshly brewed 'bone powder coffee,' looking out at the empty forest in total bewilderment.
"My service attitude is clearly excellent, the treatment effects are immediate, and I even launched a 'free bone setting' promotion."
"Why... why is no one coming?"
"Is it because my advertising isn't strong enough?"
"Elizabeth!"
Victor shouted toward the ground floor.
"Here, Director. What are your orders? Do you want me to settle accounts or go anesthetize someone?"
Behind the counter, Elizabeth, wearing her dark nurse uniform, responded without looking up. She was holding an abacus, clacking away as she calculated the clinic's operating costs, looking very much like a beautiful CEO.
"Go write some flyers."
Victor thought for a moment and decided to take the initiative.
"Write: 'Benevolent Heart Clinic, caring for your bone health, now offering free physical examinations.' Then have Alice use her threads to shoot the flyers into the forest."
Elizabeth's hands paused.
She looked up and stared at Victor as if he were an idiot.
"Director, are you sure... those monsters, who can't even write their own names, can read a flyer?"
"..."
Victor fell silent.
He had been thinking too optimistically.
Just as he was fretting over the clinic's future performance...
"Woo—woooo—"
A long, eerie horn blast suddenly drifted over from the other side of the forest.
The sound was desolate and solemn, like the opening of some ancient ritual.
Then.
"Clack, clack, clack..."
A rhythmic, parade-like sound of bone friction approached from the distance.
Victor's spirits lifted.
They were here!
Finally, some fearless... no, some brave patients were at the door!
He walked quickly to the entrance and saw a party with an extremely peculiar aesthetic appearing at the end of the small path paved with white bones.
At the very front were two rows of skeleton musicians wearing tattered iron armor, holding long horns made of leg bones.
As they walked, they blew hard into those out-of-tune funeral melodies.
Behind them.
Four exceptionally tall skeleton warriors carried a magnificent sedan chair decorated with human skulls and black roses.
Rather than a sedan chair, it was more like a mobile bone throne.
A tall figure wearing a hideous horned helmet and a large black cloak sat upright upon the throne.
He had no flesh, only a skeleton shimmering with a deep blue magical luster.
However, the sovereign pressure radiating from him was three times stronger than that of the Twin-Headed Demon Wolf from before.
"A high-rank undead?"
Elizabeth had walked to the door at some point. Her red pupils contracted slightly, her expression grave.
"No, this aura... it's a 'Bone Sovereign.'"
"Bone Sovereign Aur, the ruler of the 'Weeping Cemetery.' An old monster who has lived for at least eight hundred years."
"What is he doing here? A show of force?"
Victor did not speak.
His 【True Sight Eye】 was already active.
Beneath that majestic armor, what he saw was a skeleton riddled with 'foci of infection.'
The procession stopped fifty meters away from the clinic's main gate.
Upon the throne, Aur, the one known as the Bone Sovereign, slowly stood up.
Within his hollow eye sockets, two clumps of soul fire burned deep like ghost flames.
He did not roar or threaten like other monsters.
Instead, he performed an action that caught everyone off guard.
He removed the hideous horned helmet that symbolized his royal power.
Then, very politely...
He bowed slightly to Victor.
"Good day, esteemed... Excellency Doctor."
Aur's voice was low and raspy, like two tombstones rubbing together, but every word was articulated clearly, even carrying a hint of an ancient aristocratic accent.
Victor was stunned for a moment.
This was the first creature since he arrived in this world to proactively address him as "Doctor."
For the sake of this politeness, he deserved VIP treatment.
"Good day, Mister... er, Bone King."
Victor returned the gesture, though in his heart he was thinking, 'With a client this big, how much should I charge?'
"May I ask, are you here for treatment, or just visiting?"
Aur remained silent for a moment.
Did a flash of hard-to-admit... embarrassment flicker in his burning soul fire?
He glanced at his four burly skeleton guards.
Then he looked at the little girl in the black dress behind Victor, who was holding great scissors and curiously sizing him up.
Finally, he took a deep breath (though he had no lungs).
"I am here... for treatment."
Saying these words seemed to exhaust all the courage he had accumulated over eight hundred years.
"Oh?"
Victor's eyes lit up.
"Please, come in. Alice, pour this gentleman a glass of water... wait, undead probably don't drink water. Elizabeth, serve tea!"
Aur walked into the clinic hall with heavy steps.
When he saw the assassin who had been turned into a street lamp, the soul fire in his eyes visibly jumped, but he said nothing.
He walked straight to Victor and placed the heavy horned helmet on the counter.
Then, under the peculiar gazes of Victor, Elizabeth, and Alice...
He reached out a finger made of jade-like bone and, somewhat bashfully...
Pointed to his own bare skull, which had been polished smooth by the ages.
His tone carried a trace of melancholy and worry that even he hadn't noticed.
"Doctor."
"Recently... I always feel like the top of my head is quite chilly."
"Am I... sick?"
"..."
The air went dead silent.
Elizabeth nearly spat out the blood plasma in her mouth.
Alice tilted her head, and her scissors hit the floor with a 'clatter.'
Victor's mouth twitched uncontrollably.
'The top of your head feels chilly?'
'Big brother!'
'You're a skeleton!'
'Where on your body is it NOT chilly?'
'You don't even have a scalp, where is this "feeling" coming from?'
'He's here to pick a fight, isn't he? He's definitely here to pick a fight!'
Victor suppressed the urge to complain and activated his 【True Sight Eye】 to see what the hell this guy was up to.
However.
When the system's diagnostic report popped up.
Even Victor was stunned.
【Patient: Bone Sovereign Aur (High-rank Undead)】
【Danger Level: S+ (Extremely dangerous, but currently non-hostile)】
【Pathological Diagnosis Report:】
Phantom Limb Pain (Derivative: Phantom Hair Pain): Because this creature was a handsome knight who cherished his hair during his lifetime, after transforming into an undead and losing all hair, his powerful soul obsession has created the illusion that his 'scalp still exists,' accompanied by mental symptoms such as 'head coldness' and 'hair loss anxiety.'
Secondary Appearance Anxiety: Long-term baldness has led to severe damage to self-confidence, affecting his majesty as a sovereign.
【Comprehensive Evaluation: A poor old bag of bones suffering a mid-life crisis due to baldness.】
Victor looked at this utterly ridiculous diagnostic report and fell silent.
Phantom hair pain?
Appearance anxiety caused by baldness?
Is there... something wrong with this world?
He looked up again at the majestic, menacing Bone Sovereign before him.
At this moment, within those hollow eye sockets, there actually was a hint of anticipation and nervousness.
He looked exactly like those programmers who walk into a hair transplant hospital and cautiously ask, "Doctor, is there still hope for me?"
Victor took a deep breath.
As a professional doctor, no matter how ridiculous a patient's symptoms are, one must not laugh.
Absolutely must not laugh.
Unless one can't help it.
"Ahem."
Victor cleared his throat, his face assuming an incredibly professional and serious expression.
He walked up to Aur, reached out, and lightly tapped on that smooth skull.
Thump, thump.
The feel wasn't bad; it was like tapping on a piece of high-quality mutton-fat jade.
"I... basically understand the situation."
Victor withdrew his hand and spoke solemnly.
"This isn't a disease."
"It's 'follicle signal residue' caused by the desynchronization of soul and physical information during the undead transformation process."
"To put it simply..."
Victor looked at Aur's soul fire, which was full of a desire for knowledge, and slowly spoke the final diagnosis.
"You have a typical case of... Ghost Shaving."
'Ghost... Shaving?'
Aur's soul fire flickered violently.
That term sounded... so professional! So terrifying!
As expected, he had found the right person!
"Doctor! Is... is there still hope?"
There was a hint of urgency in Aur's voice.
"Of course there is."
Victor smiled confidently.
On the system interface, the 【Recommended Treatment Plan】 column was flashing with a golden light.
【Plan Recommendation: Soul Hair Transplant.】
Victor looked at those three words, and the corners of his mouth curled up slightly.
Hair transplant?
I'm familiar with this.
Isn't it just transplanting follicle units to where they're needed?
Although performing a hair transplant on a skull sounded a bit beyond the norm.
But as long as one's thoughts don't slide downhill, there are always more solutions than problems.
"Mister Aur, was it?"
Victor patted Aur's hard shoulder, his tone brimming with confidence.
"Don't worry."
"We at the Benevolent Heart Clinic are best at solving 'top of the head' troubles like yours."
"Please, have a seat over here. I happen to be free today."
"I will perform the surgery personally."
Rate on N.U.
